To next page

Sandy's Life:

 

September 1993 – October 1st 2003

 

Sandy is my puppy that always was a puppy to me even as she matured and grew old.  Even as she was getting old I couldn’t imagine her to really grow old because she always acted like she was still a puppy.  In a way, her death feels more like the death of a young puppy rather than an aged old dog who has lived a full life. 

 

Sandy was born in September of 1993.  I was in the 9th grade.  Her story goes way back to her mother Nugget who died in the summer of 1998 five years ago.   Nugget was just a very young puppy that I fell in love with instantly at the pet store when I was in fifth grade.  Nugget was the sweetest dog I have ever known and she was so cute.  From the moment my parents had bought me her I wanted to eventually have little nuggets running around.  She was the perfect candidate for mother hood in every way possible and it just so happens that we lived right next door to someone who owned a male pure bred cocker spaniel, Max.   We only had to ask them once if we could “borrow” there dog and they were more than willing.  For at least a couple of weeks while Nugget was in heat we kept those two together as often as we could.  The first couple of times Nugget was a lil scared but she participated willingly anyway and eventually became an addict as she was no longer shy after the first couple of times.  So needless to say it wasn’t very hard to get them to mate.  It was a learning experience for me personally.  I had no idea that they actually lock when they are done.  They were probably stuck together for at least ten or fifteen minutes until they could walk away from each other.  My dog was crying the first time and I got scarred because I had no idea what was happening, why she was crying and why they couldn’t move apart.  Thank god my next door neighbor knew what the heck was going on or I would have tried to help them separate.  But like I said, after the first couple of times my dog was fine and she became a sex addict in no time.

 

If I remember right it was the month of June or early July when the vet was finally able to confirm that Nugget is pregnant.  I took plenty of pictures of her during her pregnancy.   It was so neat to actually have my dog bred like that.  We had always just bought our pets at the pet store and had them spayed.  This was a great learning experience for me and just made my growing up year’s all the more better. 

 

Nugget goes into labor in September of 1993.  I do not remember how long she was in labor for, but it was at least several hours.  I remember her water broke in her bed and she got worried that she made a mess and was going to get in trouble so she tried to cover it up and got all nervous.  Obviously we knew what was going on and we prepared.  My dad and I had built birthing quarters out of wood and carpeting.  It had plenty of room so that Nugget could have her pups in there and raise them for the first couple of months.  The walls wher about a foot high and a step on one side so that nugget could get in and out as she pleased.   As soon as her water broke Nugget instantly went into her birthing quarters and a few hours later began to give birth.   By the time she actually had her pups she was so worn out that she had no more energy left in her, she didn’t even appear to be in pain anymore, just breathing slightly heavier than usual.  The hard part was definately the hours before pushing out her babies.  First was Sandy, second was her brother OJ.  I video taped the whole thing.  My dad had to help because Nugget had no energy to do anything.  With Sandy there was a little bit of trouble.  At first she didn’t appear to be breathing, but my dad being a CPR instructor was able to massage her chest and eventually she kicked and life in her was present.  OJ came out just fine without any complications.  My dad cut the umbilical chords and through away the after birth.  Once they were born we were expecting more.   Nugget licked her puppies and cleaned them for a few minutes as she said hi to her new babies.   After a while she wanted to go pee so I took her outside thinking that this may start contractions again and another puppy being born.  I watched her VERY closely.  When she squatted I could have sworn that I saw a third puppy start to come out so quickly I took her back inside and it never happened again.  We waited a few hours, eventually took her to the vet very late at night to see what the problem was.  She stayed there over night with her puppies, the vet took X-rays the next morning and discovered there were no more puppies, just the two.   We were amazed, especially me because I thought I saw a third one starting to come out the night prior.  We took Nugget and her pups back home and welcomed the new additions to our family.  Believe me I took tons of pictures of them as they grew.  I even went with when they had there tails clipped and stitched.  When Cockers are born they look like little lizards kind of because of there long tails. 

 

When they were about six or seven weeks old we gave OJ to my cousin Robin.  This is something that we had planned from the start.   I wanted to keep Sandy.  OJs original name was actually Bubba because he was the chubbier one and it took him much longer to be able to walk than it did Sandy.  Robin changed his name to OJ right away.

 

Nugget proved us all right in that she was the perfect candidate to be a mom in every way possible.  I will never forget how she nurtured her pups and loved them.   She really appreciated the birthing quarters that my dad and I had built for her.  The first month or so they were to small to climb out, so whenever Nugget felt she needed a break from them she could climb out and stroll around for a while without having to worry about her pups. 

 

The first several days Sandy and OJ didn’t have a personality yet.  They just mainly wanted to feed off there mother, and stay warm.  After maybe a week at the most, they started to play with each other, OJ started to get pudgier and they both started to develop there own individual personalities.  They would even play with mom as they got older, most of the time nugget would be a good sport and play with her kids, and sometimes she would just lay there and let them work off there energy.  Many times I would participate and we would all wrestle around.  I could swear that all three of those dogs could form complete smiles.  It was really the best of times. 

 

Eventually Bubba would be given to my Cousin Robin after six or seven weeks of age.  I came home from something one afternoon and to my surprise my dad had given OJ to Robin already without warning.  He said they stopped by that afternoon while I was away and it seemed like a good time etc…   I was a lil sad but I didn’t worry much about it because he was going to my cousins and I could visit whenever I wanted to.   My family and I would usually bring Sandy and Nugget with us whenever we went over there and they would usually bring OJ with whenever they would come over here.   Even though they didn’t live together anymore they were still a family.   I took personal gratification in reuniting them whenever we could. 

 

Nugget passed away in the Summer of 1998 unexpectedly of a heart attack we are guessing.  She was nine in a half, Sandy and OJ were about five years old.  My dad came home from work one afternoon to Nugget lying there dead on the kitchen floor, and Sandy in the same room.  My dad had the next door neighbor burry Nugget in the backyard.  Sandy was in the same room as her Mother when her Mother died and was there for god only knows how long until she was discovered.  Sandy also watched my dad carry Nugget out of the house and watched my dad return without her mom.  I’m sure Sandy realized that her mom was gone.  I’m not sure how animals comprehend death or if they comprehend death but if they do then sandy comprehended death for the first time and only time in her life that I am aware of.   Sandy pee’d in my father’s bed later that same night.  She may have been mad at my dad since he is the one she saw carry her Mother outside and didn’t return with her. 

 

I think Sandy dealt with the death of her mom rather well.  She seemed sad that evening, and even the next day but quickly bounced back into her ole self.  I do believe that she never forgot about her mom and always knew who her brother is.  I believe Sandy realizes that Nugget was buried in our backyard because ever since her mom died she has been afraid of the backyard. 

 

Sandy did live a fabulous life.  She was always very happy.  She was always starving for attention from everyone and was very playful, she had the spunk of a puppy even when she got old.  That spunk never went away.  She was probably a little bit smarter than her mom but no dog was ever as sweet as her mom, though Sandy did come close in the sweet department.  There is no denying that Sandy was an intelligent and very caring dog to have and so cute.  I’m glad that I take a lot of pictures. 

 

Like her mom, sandy was also afraid of the vacuum cleaner but not quite as much as her mom was.  She was also a greeter as all cockers are I think.  It’s a great feeling to be greeted by your dog at the door when you come home every time.   When its gone, its something dearly and deeply to be missed and fills my eyes with tears.  Even though sandy remained a puppy throughout her life, there were some things that did change with age.  As she got older she ran less and it was always funny to watch her run because she would run more like a rabbit than a regular dog would.  Thats the first thing I noticed about her run when I first saw her run as a puppy.  It was so cute.  As she got older she would also start to bark at strangers more and eventually a lot more because I think the last year in a half or two years of her life she was going blind, slowly but surely, and deaf to.  Eventually it got to be a pain to take her outside to go potty because she would go out there looking for things to bark at.   If someone was outside anywhere, a kid on a bike, someone walking on the sidewalk, someone cleaning there car across the street etc.  She would start barking and it would take her a while to stop.   That seemed not only annoying but abnormal to me like something was wrong.  I believe that it was because she was slowly going deaf and blind.   If she sensed someone was out there, she would bark.   I also believe it was a combination of that, and she just enjoyed looking for things to bark at in her old age.  But even still for the most part she was a very well behaved dog.   It was just strangers she was not comfortable around.  For the last year of her life if I brought someone she didn’t know into the house she would have a cow.   But after she got use to that person she was fine.   She would even start to shake out of nervousness along with the barking and growling so I would always hold her and calm her down because she seemed scared.   It was a rough last one year of her life to bring new people into the house, but it didn’t take but more than a few minutes for her to get use to someone new, and then she would starve for there attention as well as everyone else she was already getting attention from.  She was so funny.  The last year of her life also brought more accidents in the house.  She couldn’t always make it out side on time.  There is one area of carpet in the living now that is just ruined from that.   There were many nights towards the end of her life where she would go to the door to be let out every other minute.  That got to be to much at times.  She knew to go to the door whenever she had to go potty from her potty training days from when she was a pup.   I think she started to take advantage of that as she got older because most of the time she didn’t go potty any longer, but she would sure bark at whatever she felt like barking at.   When she was ready to come inside she would go to the bark and just bark once.  If it took longer than a half a minute or so she would bark in 30 second increments or so till someone let her in.  She developed that method on her own.  As I said, she was a very smart dog.    It was nice to because I didn’t always feel like standing by the door waiting for her to get done so I can let her in.

 

After Sandy’s Mom had died, we still had our two cats, Tigra and Snowball, but they never got along anyway so Sandy never had companionship with any other animal again except for her brother OJ.   Tigra died in September of 2000 and then Snow ball about a year later.  So it was just Sandy that I had from sometime in 2001 to now, October 1st of 2003.  From September of 1993 to the summer of 1998 when Nugget died, we had four pets.   One by one they died of old age, and nugget from probably a heart attack.  Sandy is the last to go.   For the first time since I was about five I do not have any pets.  I am 26 now.  I love animals dearly, I have more respect for them than I do people for the most part but I do not know when I will get more.    Right now I’m mourning the loss of Sandy.

 

For the past year in a half she has been slowly dwindling that I have noticed.  It started with her hearing and eye site.   Then with the sudden mood swings with her barking and going to the bathroom in the house more often.    About three or four months ago she started zoning out really badly at times, once she even pointlessly roamed out in the middle of the street when I took her out to go potty.   Once that happened I started to watch her more closely when taking her out.  Sometimes she would stand up, walk to a certain point, stop and stare for no reason.   It was like she had sporadic Alzheimers and it would just come and go.  It progressively got worse as did her sight and hearing.  I also started to notice a little bit of wobble to her walk for the past month or so, and it got more difficult for her to do things like climb stairs, jump on and off of the couch and things like that.  Probably for the past year I knew that she was just starting the process of dying as I had seen this happen with my two cats for at least a couple of years till they finally passed on.  The weirdest thing I saw Sandy do in the last maybe nine or ten months of her life was the way she would eat her dog food, when she actually ate it.  Its hard to describe but she would scoop her nose anywhere from a few inches to a few feet in front of her dog dish, completely missing her food.  Sometimes she would put her face right over her food and then make that weird scooping motion with her nose again.  Sometimes she would get frustrated and would start to whimper.   It didn’t matter if I had physically shown her where her food was, she would go right back to the scooping motion she was doing.  But eventually she would get to her food and eat it, if she wanted to.  Now when I would feed her people food she had no problems whatsoever.  But if she just didn’t want to eat her dog food then why was she trying to eat her food with the scooping motion and so far from her dish?   Anyone who ever saw it never made any sense about it.  I don’t even have a theory.  All I know is she ate people food just fine. 

 

Finally the night before last night her condition suddenly took a nose dive and it became obvious she was really dying.  I remember early that morning as I was getting ready for work on the 29th of September she was just laying around, she didn’t greet me which I thought was weird and she didn’t have to go potty, but I didn’t think anything of it, yet.  I came home for lunch that day and I honestly don’t remember what I did for lunch but I do not remember noticing my dogs condition at all.   When I came home from work for the day at six p.m. my dad had told me sandy is really out of it now as soon as I walked through the door.  I went straight to her as I always do if she hasn’t come to greet me yet.   She was completely un responsive to me and just looked dead tired.  She had also gotten skinnier.   One thing about Sandy is that she hated dog food.  She would rather starve than eat it.   We never spoiled her with accessive people food so I don’t know why she hated her dog food so much.  So instead of just putting more dog food out I just let her eat whatever she wanted because I knew that long term health didn’t matter anymore.   I just wanted my baby to feel good.  For the next two days up to her death I fed her hot dogs, roast beef with gravy, eggs, cereal, fresh green beans and potatoes, ham and popcorn.  The morning of her death I didn’t feed her anything because I was 90 percent sure she would be put to sleep later in the morning.   I kept her water dish full and kept ice in it at all times because she loves her water cold.   She ate a lot.  Her appetite was not gone, but she drank a little less water than usual.   She was even still going to the bathroom so I thought maybe there is some life in her after all.  But as far as her mental state, that did not get any better.  It stayed about the same.  The night after September 29th  I concluded that she was out of mind.   Sandy in a way was already gone and now she is a living conscious breathing drone that doesn’t really have any thought.   She no longer recognized anyone.   A dog who was always so loving and so starving for attention and had such a strong personality suddenly had not a trace of any of that any longer.  I don’t think she was aware of anything.  When she would lay down she just layed there complete dead without so much as a twitch.  She didn’t appear to be in pain though, thank god.   She just appeared completely drained and out of mind.  She would get up and walk around a lot in spurts.   She would basically walk till she bumped into something, change direction and begin walking again till she bumped into something else etc..  Sometimes she would stop for no reason and stare out into space with her cute lil head down like she forget where she was or what she was doing.  She could do this for up to a half hour at a time.   It was so sad to see, very depressing for my mom and I.  Sometimes she would look for a dark corner to burry her face in and she would just stand there.   I help her much of the time so that she knew I was there.  But her final last three days I do not think she had any of her vision or hearing left.  I would shout her name in her ear, no response.  If she were walking and I would stand in her way, she would go right by me not even noticing I was there.  Even when I held her in my arms and caressed her she would be completely un responsive to me and that depressed me.  This is why I concluded she was out of mind and the Sandy that I had loved was already gone.  I did help a great deal to make her feel good though.   She did not appear to be in any pain, just as I said, drained and out of mind. 

 

Today is October 1st of 2003 and my baby is gone.  Yesterday afternoon during my lunch my mom had called home and told me she was going to try and take her to the vet later that afternoon and if the vet wanted to put her to sleep she was going to go through with it while I was at work.  I couldn’t have this so we agreed to take her in the following day, today, and I could request a day off of work so that I could be there. 

 

I never made a decision if she was going to be put to sleep or not till today when I talked to the vet doctor.   Though I had a good feeling starting two nights ago that it was leading to this, and yesterday when my mom and I agreed to take her to the vet the following day I had a pretty good idea that today she would be put down.  Last night I told Sandy I love you and thank you so much for being here and making your time with us so wonderful and I will never ever forget you.  This morning my mom and I woke up and took Sandy to the vet on the navy base at great lakes.  After talking to the vet doctor for a very short period we agreed that it was best to put her down before she really begins to suffer because she was in fact dying.  The vet doctor also agreed with me that Sandy was out of mind even though she was still living.  I went with and kept my hands on my dog as they administered youthanasia to my baby so that she wouldn’t get scared.   When we walked into the vet, that’s when I started to cry hard.  Sandy’s eyes opened wider as they always did at the vets.   But she was still completely out of mind, but conscious somehow.  I think if she had any vision left, she could see traces of light and shadows.  And that’s probably what she sensed there.  But she still appeared to have no idea about anything else.  Sandy went in peace.   Her muscles didn’t even spasm as she was being put down.  I remember the first shot to calm her, and then the second shot as the needle was nearing end I could feel the life slip out of her body and every muscles was completely relaxed and not being used any longer.   It was amazing how peaceful she went.  Not so much as a muscle spasm or twitch.  I am VERY happy about that.  I am happy with the decision to put her down before it would have been rough on her.  Everything about the circumstances made it obvious it was just her time to pass on and join her mom once again. 

 

Sandy, like all my special pets, meant a great deal to me and always will.  I will never forget her life and for the next few days I will probably tear up without warning as I reflect on her.  I feel like she is the world’s oldest puppy because of her puppiness like spunk she never grew out of.  Sandy is always going to have a place in my heart that cannot be occupied by anything or anyone else.   She was part of my family.  Its hard to lose someone your close to.  I am glad that I continue to use this method as part of my coping with the loss as I had done for Nugget and Tigra.  I hope and pray that all my pets are up in heaven somewhere re united and having a wonderful time.  I can see Nugget and Sandy playing as they did before Nugget died and they are waiting for OJ to complete them up there.   OJ could go at any time now since he is the same age as his sister.   When he does I know that he will get the warm welcome from his mother as Sandy did this morning, but Sandy will be there as well to see her brother again and all three of them will live and play together like they did many years ago.  But this time forever and without ever getting sick.   Now Sandy you can run freely again and jump without hurting.  You can play with your mom and you can always be aware of your surroundings without forgetting.  You can look down on me to make sure that I find great pets again someday or that they may find me so that other animals may feel the same joy that you did during your ten years of life.  Whenever I hear a story about animal cruelty it just sickens me that every animal cant have a decent owner.  I’m so grateful that you were born into a loving family so you could live the life that you did and I know that you will look down on me with a smile and your cute little tail wagging because of that.

 

Fly to the angels baby and never forget me

 

Tommie

My Pet's Page
Back to Eyes of Fire