In the health my parents are in I face regular reminders to spend time and hold close to the ones we love.
Most people are acquaintances and that’s lovely.
Few people are so much more than just acquaintances.
My dad is an inpatient once again at the local hospital for complications.
Thankfully he is showing good signs of improvement but one of these incidences he will pass on and that terrifies me honestly.
When you care for someone as much and as long as I have for my parents you tend to develop and emotional dependency on having them around.
At least that’s my experience especially with my parents.
I’m grateful I can spend time with them, care for them, be present and engaged in their lives.
At the same time it’s creating an emotional cost and that is proving to be severe on me.
I would not change my circumstances ever.
I don’t have to be at a job because I fired my boss years ago.
I’m so grateful I can be where I need to be because it’s in these precious moments that means EVERYTHING.
I’m well aware there are many tortured souls walking the earth riddled with guilt and regret about not being there for certain loved ones while living.
I’m writing this newsletter for 1.) my own personal therapy, 2.) to make sure that you know to hold closely to the ones you love, too, and 3.) if there is something you need to figure out in your own circumstances to be able to have the time and space to be where you need to be when you need to be please figure that out asap because we don’t know when we will need that freedom we just know that we will need that time freedom sooner or later.
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Love to you Always