Man, rough morning.
I’m attempting to be a caregiver for someone really close to me and the cost psychologically is something I have to be consciously aware of on a daily basis.
This has been going on since last July.
That’s nine months and Counting with no end in sight.
This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through in my life.
Even my Dad’s passing pales in comparison to the psychological toll this has and I was really close to my dad.
Since last November I did reach a Breaking Point in my mind to where I can’t be there for more than a few minutes at a time.
It’s a catch-22 because I want to be there but at the same time I cannot if I want to be mentally well.
So I choose favor for my mental health causing me to live with a feeling of guilt all day long.
If I choose to be guilt-free then my mental health will be gone.
My challenge is to find a way to be guilt-free and mentally healthy.
Since so far it’s been one or the other I hope I’m making the right choice for my mental health.
I can’t believe this is my life right now.
What a weird bizarre nightmarish conversation to have.
I have to keep the identity of the person I’m attempting to care for anonymous because they are not as publicly transparent as I’d like to be and I always respect that.
Life is excruciatingly painful right now. The next phase cannot come soon enough.
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