Fish out of Water

Damn I have some vulnerabilities..

I am a fish out of water on and off the dance floor.

I love dancing with a partner but I have to force myself or I’ll never ask anyone to dance.

I put myself in social settings most nights of every week but it’s more comfortable for me to stay home.

“What the fuck was that?” I silently ask myself after dancing with my follows.

Once in a while I feel a rewarding connection with a follow but it’s only temporary. When I ask that same follow for a dance at the next social that connection is no longer there.

In social settings I rarely ever vibe so I just observe and redirect where I do vibe. I will change venues and locales without notice or communication until I vibe or until I would rather go home.

One on one interactions tend to be more meaningful with depth and clarity but those are temporary too.

Why do I perpetually put myself in these circumstances?

I want to grow, learn, expand my understanding, and most of all I genuinely love dancing and being in social settings even through feeling like a fish out of water.

My motivation is curiosity. “Let’s see what happens” is my backstop and my mantra. Do I want to ask this lady to dance? Let’s see what happens. Do I want to go to this social event? Let’s see what happens. I’m perfectly fine leaving anytime I wish and I often do.

Do I feel like I belong on planet earth?


But, let’s see what happens.


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