This is me in a crowd of people.
I’m by myself.
There is value for me in feeling most alone when I’m around other people.
My innate curious nature causes me to observe everything when I’m not oblivious to everything.
I see how people treat each other and themselves. I see how people act in crowds and groups versus independently or in one on ones. I see how drastic Behavior changes when people are in groups or crowds. I see the facades. I see the authenticities. I see the regurgitated cliches and carbon copies. I see the original and creatives. I see the cringe. I see the beautiful. I see the many walls of protection. I see the almost non existent little sands that were once walls.
This is perhaps my favorite picture anyone has ever candidly taken of me. When my friend brought this picture to my attention I immediately saw myself as I feel when I’m in crowds or groups of people.
But still I go back for more just to see what happens this time. And the next time. And the next time after that. Once in a while a meaningful dialogue will happen. Sometimes even a worthwhile connection with another human.
People think I’m a happy social butterfly; always going out doing things and regular venue changes. Oh but I’m not! It’s my innate sense of curiosity driving me to embark on explorations to see what happens.
I can connect with people all day long because I am deeply connected to myself. When I am connecting with another human who is also deeply connected to themselves we have the potential to a whole new level of connection. Outside of those very rare occurrences I am isolated but acutely aware.