About Tom

Building a Dream...

They Are Calling Us Terrorists Now to send a Chilling Message of Obedience

The recent case of Luigi Manon exposes a sinister shift in how our government weaponizes terrorism charges to protect corporate interests. When prosecutors labeled him a terrorist instead of charging him with murder, they weren’t just misclassifying one crime—they were laying the groundwork for a massive expansion of state power against citizen dissent.

Let’s be crystal clear: Government officials aren’t stupid. They know exactly what they’re doing. When Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas discussed the case, he barely mentioned the actual incident. Instead, he fixated on what he called “alarming” social media reactions—people’s justified anger at a predatory healthcare system. This wasn’t a slip-up. It was calculated.

“We’re seeing concerning rhetoric,” Mayorkas warned, using the classic authoritarian playbook of painting critics as threats. He spoke about monitoring social media and tracking “anti-government sentiment”—code words for surveilling anyone who dares question a system that kills 70,000 Americans annually through denied care. This is how authoritarianism creeps in: first they monitor, then they label, then they silence.

The public’s reaction wasn’t celebrating violence—it was a nationwide cry of anguish from people who’ve watched loved ones die because insurance executives needed another yacht. From cancer patients denied treatment to diabetics rationing insulin, millions of Americans have experienced the cold brutality of corporate healthcare. The government’s response? Label the critics as terrorists while protecting the real perpetrators of mass suffering.

United Healthcare’s body count makes any individual act of violence pale in comparison. When people talk about “blood on hands,” they’re not using metaphors—they’re referring to the thousands of death certificates bearing the invisible signature of insurance denials. The company isn’t just unpopular—it’s a machine of systematic violence operating under legal protection.

Comedian Bill Burr exposed the dark truth when he noted that insurance companies suddenly started approving more claims after the incident. Fear momentarily forced executives to acknowledge human life over profit margins. But rather than fix the murderous system, our government chose to protect it, by criminalizing the desperate and angry voices of its victims.

There’s a straightforward solution that would prevent similar incidents: single-payer Medicare for All. Every other developed nation has universal healthcare. They don’t have CEOs getting rich by executing people through denied coverage. They don’t have families choosing between medication and food. They have a rational system: everyone pays in, everyone gets care.

But instead of basic human decency, we’re watching the machinery of state power swing into action. The terrorism charge isn’t just legal overreach, it’s a deliberate strategy to equate corporate criticism with domestic terrorism. When authorities can’t defend mass death for profit, they criminalize those who dare name it for what it is.

The arrest of a woman in Lakeland, Florida, for expressing frustration during a phone call with Blue Cross Blue Shield isn’t an isolated incident, it’s a preview of what’s coming. The message couldn’t be clearer: accept your role as compliant consumers in a system that profits from your suffering, or face the full force of state persecution.

This isn’t about Luigi Manon anymore. It’s about whether Americans will organize and stand up against this blatant corruption of government power, or whether we’ll let fear and surveillance crush the last remnants of our right to demand better. The time for polite requests is over. We need massive, peaceful protests. We need coordinated civil disobedience. We need to flood Congressional offices with calls and letters. We need to organize voter drives focused on single-payer healthcare. Most importantly, we need to refuse to be silenced by those who would rather label us terrorists than face their own complicity in a system that kills for profit.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Murder by Spreadsheet

A clever way to not get noticed of their organized systemic mass murder? The private health insurance industry certainly thinks so. You can only push people so far, until they…

Every year, 70,000 Americans die because of a system that values profits over people. The weapon? A spreadsheet. The perpetrators? They sit in boardrooms, wearing suits and ties, making decisions that end lives through the cold calculation of profit margins.

The private health insurance industry has mastered this deadly arithmetic. They’ve found a way to make death by denial look clean, corporate, and completely legal.

Here’s the brutal truth: both left-wing and right-wing voters are furious about our healthcare system. We’re all watching our friends and family suffer under the weight of insurance denials and sky-high costs. Yet election after election, we keep making the same mistake – voting for politicians who pocket “campaign contributions” (let’s call them what they are: bribes) from the very insurance companies destroying our healthcare system.

Some people, pushed to their breaking point, start thinking about violent solutions. But listen – assassinating healthcare CEOs isn’t the answer. That path only leads to more government crackdowns and authoritarian responses, while the spreadsheet murders continue unabated.

We’re angry – and we should be. But we need to be smarter about this fight. Our problem isn’t that we lack passion; it’s that we haven’t organized effectively enough to nominate and elect leaders who refuse corporate money. Every time we vote for a candidate who takes insurance industry bribes, we’re feeding the very system that’s killing us.

The solution? It starts with you. It starts with primary elections. It starts with drawing a line in the sand and saying: “No more candidates who take corporate money.” We can stop this violence – both the spreadsheet kind and the kind born from desperation. But we have to show up when it counts, during primary season, to nominate people who actually represent us instead of corporate greed.

The choice is clear: become part of the solution. Help build a healthcare system that values human lives over profit margins. Because right now, those spreadsheets are still claiming victims, one cell at a time.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

The Real Battle: People vs. Corporate Greed

Here’s a truth that transcends political parties: We’re all getting crushed by the same broken healthcare system. It’s not left versus right—it’s all of us versus corporate greed.

Every denial in health care coverage is organized systemic violence. Left and right voters experience the same denials of coverage. This is us against corporate owners in the Death merchant business.

Numbers that should unite us all: Universal healthcare would save our country $450 billion every year. That’s not a typo. But more importantly, it would save seventy thousand lives—our neighbors, friends, and family members. During COVID alone, universal healthcare could have saved over 335,000 lives.

Think about that. While we’ve been fighting over politics, insurance companies have been playing a deadly game with our lives. Every denied claim isn’t just paperwork—it’s a potential death sentence. These aren’t “insurance companies”—they’re merchants of death, profiting on the deaths their denials are causing.

Since the 1970s, an estimated $50 trillion of our money has been legally stolen from us and given to the wealthiest corporate owners. This isn’t about conservative or liberal—it’s about the powerful taking from the powerless.

But here’s the good news: We might be finally waking up. Both conservative and progressive voters are realizing we share a common enemy—corporate greed that puts profits over people. When your child is sick, your political party doesn’t matter. When your spouse needs life-saving medication, your voting record is irrelevant.

The solution is simple, but powerful: Unite against the real enemy. Every time insurance companies deny care to save their bottom line, they’re not just hurting “the other side”—they’re hurting all of us. Every time they jack up prices, they’re not discriminating based on political beliefs.

It’s time to reframe the fight. This isn’t about left vs. right. It’s about all of us vs corporate greed. It’s about life vs. death. It’s about people vs. profit.

Together, we can build a healthcare system that serves everyone. Because at the end of the day, we all bleed the same color, feel the same pain, and deserve the same care.

The question isn’t whether you’re conservative or progressive. The question is: Are you ready to stand with your fellow Americans against those who profit from our suffering?

The time for division is over. The time for unity is now. If we can reframe the fight from left vs right to all of us vs corporate greed on every issue that plagues us then we can finally have a government that represents us rather than a government that only represents their corporate owners.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

For-Profit Healthcare Industry has created a Devastating reality

A vile CEO of a private health insurance company, assassinated.

Let’s be honest about what private health insurance really is: a predatory system that routinely chooses profits over human lives. Every day, insurance executives make calculated decisions to deny life-saving care to desperate people, knowing their choices will lead to death and devastation for countless families.

The numbers reveal the savage reality of this industry. Last year alone, 70,000 Americans died because insurance companies decided their lives weren’t worth the cost of treatment. Think about that – the entire population of a small city, wiped out by boardroom decisions. The company at the center of recent events actually tripled their denial rate from 8% to 22%, essentially signing death warrants for thousands while their profit margins soared.

The private insurance industry has perfected the art of legal killing. They hire armies of analysts whose sole job is to find reasons to deny care. They employ teams of lawyers to defend their right to let people die. They spend millions lobbying Congress to protect their ability to profit from human suffering. And they do all this while paying their executives millions in bonuses – blood money, earned through the systematic destruction of American families.

Medical debt now drives 40% of all bankruptcies in America, and most of these people actually had insurance. This isn’t failure – it’s their business model working exactly as designed. The industry creates policies deliberately full of loopholes, waiting periods, and exclusions, knowing that when people are at their most vulnerable, they can deny coverage and protect their profits.

While I cannot condone violence of any kind, the recent events force us to confront an uncomfortable truth: we’ve normalized a system of institutional violence that dwarfs any individual act. Every denial letter is an act of violence. Every rejected claim is an attack on a family’s survival. Every premium increase is an assault on Americans’ basic right to live.

The private insurance industry has built an empire on human suffering. They’ve turned emergency rooms into profit centers and transformed medical decisions into business calculations. They’ve created a system where a child’s cancer treatment is judged not by its chance of success, but by its impact on quarterly earnings.

When we talk about healthcare violence, we must acknowledge the daily brutality of a system that forces parents to choose between life-saving medication and feeding their children. A system that pushes families into poverty for the crime of getting sick. A system that has convinced us that letting people die for profit is somehow normal business practice.

The tragedy isn’t just in the numbers – it’s in the fundamental immorality of an industry that has perfected the art of monetizing human suffering. Every year, insurance executives earn millions in bonuses for finding new ways to deny care. They celebrate increased denial rates as “efficiency improvements.” They toast their stock prices while families plan funerals.

This isn’t healthcare – it’s systematic extortion backed by the threat of death. The private insurance industry has more in common with organized crime than with healthcare, extracting payments under duress and delivering nothing but paperwork and denials in return.

While violence can never be the answer, we must confront the blood-soaked reality of what private health insurance truly is: an industry that has turned death into a profit center and suffering into a business model. Until we acknowledge this fundamental truth, we cannot hope to build a healthcare system that actually serves human needs rather than corporate greed.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Confused, sad, shocked, and what now?

Unexpected major TWIST to my dance journey that has me reeling and figuring out what next.

Imagine pouring your heart and soul into a dance academy for two years straight. Day in, day out, you show up with unwavering loyalty and support. You trust the process, the teachers, their skill, their commitment. Never once do you question or argue. You’re always holding space for their vision.

Then, the unthinkable happens. The teachers host their first-ever dance social, a celebration of student anniversaries. One year, two years, even seven years – everyone’s milestones are being honored. You’re thrilled to be celebrating your own two-year mark. The music pulses, you dance with abandon, lost in the joy of the moment. This is one of the most fun socials I have ever attended.

And then, in an instant, everything shatters. Just before the recognition ceremony, one of my teachers hands me a bag with a plaque, a t-shirt, offers kind words and a hug. It’s a sweet gesture. The ceremony begins, names are called, students take the stage, but not me. I’m the only one excluded, left sitting alone on a sofa as strangers glance at me in confusion. Why wasn’t I called up? Why am I being left out?

The group photo is taken, and still, I’m excluded. I’m shunned with absolute confusion and bewilderment. The recognition ceremony has concluded. Two minutes into the next song, I get up, leave my recognition bag behind, and walk out. The teachers can find it later, a reminder of the one student they so callously disregarded.

The next day, radio silence. No call, no text, no acknowledgment of the hurt they’ve caused. I’m left reeling, trying to make sense of this sudden, inexplicable betrayal. There has never been an argument, a problem, or a moment of rudeness of any kind between myself and the teachers in the two years I had been paying for their largest ticket item each and every month consistently. I thought there was always a mutual respect. For a moment as I was sitting there experiencing this extreme exclusion I was wondering if I was somehow just an oversite? I don’t think so. It had to have been on purpose. I was there in clear site, one of the teachers handed me my bag just before the ceremony began, and strangers in the audience were baffled by my exclusion. The teachers had to have excluded me on purpose. And for what reason?

But here’s the thing – recognition has never been my motivator. I never expect such things in exchange for my support. What cuts deep is the sense of being shunned, of a “fuck you” from teachers I respected and trusted. The teachers gave me so much in two years, helped me grow in ways I never thought possible. That’s what makes this so heartbreaking.

Gratitude and Reflection:
I received unimagined value from the teachers over these past two years. They are highly skilled dancers and teachers. I would not be where I am in my dance journey today if not for these amazing teachers and nothing could ever take that away. That’s what makes this so sad for me, to be shunned in this way by two teachers I really looked up to and received so much value from. At the same time, it’s also an already known lesson in how not to treat people. It’s also a stark reminder that anybody you trust can turn on a dime without provocation and leave you in the dark without rhyme or reason. In life you have to be willing to let go of expectation and flow because people you trust will disappoint you in ways you don’t see coming. I also believe in forgiveness.

So what’s next?

I’m cancelling my membership and exploring other studios. I’m definitely diving deeper into Brazilion Zouk dancing. I may spend more time on my music. I was going to this dance studio 4 days a week as much as 4 hours per day. This was a huge regular time commitment I got use to for two straight years. So, now I have to get un use to it and move on in my life. It almost feels like breaking up with a girlfriend. Weird.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Feeling utterly homesick, I gaze up at the stars this evening.

Despite the fun I had tonight – dancing with numerous partners, visiting multiple venues across different cities, meeting new people, and savoring every moment – I feel like my soul doesn’t belong on this planet.

Yet, here I am.

I’m unsure why, but I’ll keep pursuing my passions and enjoying myself while I can.

I have no idea when my time will come, whether it’s 100 seconds or 100 years from now.

Without missing a moment of this existence, I’m ready to go whenever the day arrives. My only request is to maintain my mobility, functionality, and independence for as long as I remain, for the only thing I truly fear is living in a body crippled by chronic pain.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

A Reality Check for Democrats

Voters must show up in the primary season rather than only the general election. Avoiding primaries and offering corporate-backed candidates ensures electoral defeat. The only path to victory is engaging in primaries and providing yourselves with genuinely supportable candidates you’d be enthusiastic to vote for in the general election. Otherwise, elections will remain unappealing choices between corporate Democrats and falsely populist Republicans. If you continue bypassing the primaries only to show up in the general election you will continue to lose.

Blue maga believes a corporate Democrat can win. Red Maga believes their guy is an authentic economic populist. I personally don’t live in the framework of red versus blue or left versus right. The real correct frame is corporatism versus populism.

The belief in corporate Democrats’ viability is a damaging delusion. The true divide is between corporatism and populism. Democrats rightly criticize Republicans’ democratic shortcomings, but they have their own. The lack of a competitive 2024 primary and undemocratic selection of a weak candidate exemplifies this.

The country rejects corporate politicians. Democrats must stop nominating them and expecting different results. The establishment’s scapegoating of voters, bigotry, and demographics ignores their complicity in protecting corporatism.

Democrats are often seen as the lesser evil, but corporate Democrats have shown apathy towards social issues and personal freedoms. Regardless of who’s in power, rights are eroded. Democrats have failed to protect gay marriage, privacy, and personal autonomy. They’ve also neglected voting rights and democracy.

Democrats correctly label Republicans as anti-freedom, but they themselves seem uninterested in autonomy. To win, Democrats must offer a genuine alternative, engaging in primaries and supporting candidates who will fight for the people, not just corporations.

In short, I don’t see a path to victory in populism over corporatism unless more voters vote in the primaries for the purpose of giving ourselves someone we’d be excited to vote for rather than continuing the same failed path of only showing up for the general election to vote against the greater of two evils.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Stardust and Brushstrokes Beyond the Flesh

There’s this deep longing to merge with art, to lose myself in the creative flow. It’s like our souls have these yearnings, these talents that burn inside us even when we’re not in these bodies.

It’s always left me with this ache, this sense of loss.

Art and soul, they’re like two threads woven together. That’s why so many artists are walking wounded. We feel everything so deeply. It’s not about being better than anyone else. It’s just that we need to tap into that deeper magic to bring our art to life.

And that’s why human connection is so key. When we find someone who truly sees us, it can unlock this flood of creativity we never knew we had. It’s like our sadness, our gifts… they’re all intertwined.

My whole life, I’ve felt like an outsider, like I’m here for a reason but I haven’t figured out what it is yet. As a kid, I’d gaze up at the stars, feeling this homesickness. I know I’m not from here. This world, it’s… it’s got its beauty, but it’s also dark, ugly. Sometimes it feels like humanity is this cancer. But my soul, it chose this. I’m still trying to understand why.

Because the truth is, I’m not human. Not really. I just inhabit this human skin. I still catch myself staring up at the stars, yearning to go home.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Emotional Scaffolding. We all need it.

Emotional scaffolding is a crucial foundation for our well-being. It’s the internal framework that allows us to stand tall, to weather life’s inevitable challenges without crumbling. Think of it as the psychological infrastructure that supports our resilience.

When it comes to intimate relationships, the strength of our emotional scaffolding becomes particularly critical. We might be able to connect with a romantic partner on a deep, magical level, feeling seen and loved for who we are. But if our scaffolding is weak, if we lack a solid sense of self-worth or the skills to navigate conflicts, even a single misstep can lead to collapse.

Imagine a relationship as a bridge between two people. That bridge needs sturdy scaffolding to support its weight. If the scaffolding is flimsy, the bridge may hold for a time, but it won’t be able to withstand the inevitable stresses and strains that arise. A misunderstanding, a difference in needs, a moment of vulnerability… and the bridge can come crashing down.

So it’s not enough to simply find that magical connection with a lover. We need to take the time to build our internal scaffolding, to cultivate resilience, self-awareness, and healthy communication skills. This is the foundation upon which we can construct relationships that are truly strong, that can weather life’s storms and flourish over time.

We all require this scaffolding to some degree. It’s what enables us to cope with adversity, to navigate the complexities of relationships, to find a sense of purpose and direction. But the nature and extent of the scaffolding we need can vary greatly from person to person.

For some, the scaffolding might be relatively robust, forged through a combination of innate resilience, supportive relationships, and healthy coping mechanisms. These individuals can absorb the shocks of life, adapting and growing in the face of challenges.

Yet for others, the scaffolding may be more fragile, perhaps due to past traumas, insecure attachments, or ongoing stressors. These individuals might feel unsteady, as if they’re perched on shaky ground that could give way at any moment. They may struggle to cope with even minor setbacks, becoming overwhelmed by emotions they can’t seem to regulate.

In short, emotional scaffolding is the bedrock of our well-being and the key to building lasting, fulfilling relationships. It’s the internal strength that allows us to stand tall, to love fully, and to navigate life’s journey with grace and resilience.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Either way, Genocide won the Election

Regardless of who we voted for or who won, our tax dollars will continue funding violence and genocide. This isn’t about party loyalty or single-issue voting. It’s about recognizing that genocide is a culmination of billions of injustices.

I understand the desire to belong, to prioritize issues that affect our daily lives. But we can’t ignore the fact that our actions have far-reaching consequences. The brutality of this genocide in the middle east currently unfolding with our financial and weapons support is unlike anything else. It’s a daily reality of terror that we’re complicit in.

Watching verified footage of the violence, witnessing the resilience of people amidst unimaginable horror… it haunts me. Some of us wake up from nightmares of burning alive, of being crushed to death. And then we see news empathizing with soldiers who can’t cope with the atrocities they’ve committed.

This isn’t about comparing suffering. It’s about recognizing that our choices perpetuate a genocide that the vast majority of the world has condemned. And it’s not just Israel – our own nation has ignored these war crimes.

I’m exhausted but resilient. I’m compelled to speak out because I can’t imagine a world where we accept this. When confronted, Kamala Harris essentially told us to prioritize our struggles over the lives of those facing genocide. Trump promises even more unwavering support. We’ve nominated two candidates who will undoubtedly perpetuate this horror.

I’m not asking you to choose between issues. I’m asking you to recognize that genocide is a moral outrage that transcends party lines. It’s about understanding that our choices reflect our values. We’ve enabled genocide before – in Yemen, in Darfur. The root is a system corrupted by corporate influence, prioritizing profits over human lives.

We focus on the MAGA cult, but the truth is that extremism has infected our entire political landscape. This division has never made me feel more disconnected from America. We were founded on a great ideal, but we’ve lost our way. I hope we can find our moral compass; perhaps for the first time in our history.

The world sees our hypocrisy. We can’t claim moral authority while electing officials who advocate for genocide. We need to reflect on the society we want to build. Change starts with us. We put these officials in power.

Please, let’s vote for a world where no child lives in fear of bulldozers, where no one has to beg us to stop funding their murder. Let’s find the courage to stand up, even when it’s hard. Let’s prove that we’re a people who will not turn away from injustice, who will not accept a system that devalues human life.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about taking a step towards a world where love conquers hate, where understanding replaces fear. Let’s raise our voices, but more importantly, let’s raise our compassion. Let’s show the world what it means to be human. We cannot just blame the politicians and the corporations who profit from war; we the people put them in power. We the people can put BETTER people in power who reflect our moral values of being anti genocide.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

You and I, WE want to be Truly Seen

In deep reflection this morning, I came to a realization. One of the deepest reasons I pour so much love and care into my music is that it allows others to truly see me. I yearn for connection, for understanding that transcends the superficial. You will never hear me say, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me.” I want to be seen, to be known in my essence.

Creating original music is a way to share my inner world, to convey the feelings and thoughts that shape me. It’s a reflection of my soul, a window into my very being. I crave to be seen for who I truly am, and this desire fuels my creativity. From the way I dress and present myself to the words I choose and the way I express myself through movement, dance, and art, I am constantly seeking to convey my inner truth.

With this desire comes the wisdom of being selective in whose opinions I value. I am discerning in who I crave to be seen by, recognizing that seeking validation from everyone leads only to anguish. Some may declare they don’t care what others think, but this is often a shield, a form of self-protection. The truth is, we all care how we are seen by others to some degree. We all fall somewhere on the spectrum between wanting to be seen by a select few and wanting to be seen by everyone.

For myself, I know that almost everything I do is a form of self-expression, a way of bringing my inner world into the outer. But music holds a special place in my heart. It’s a direct line from my soul to yours, a universal language that transcends the boundaries of other forms of expression. I create music because it’s a primal need, an overflow of what’s inside me. It’s my soul’s language, and I long for you to hear me, to understand me in this profound way.

At the same time, I yearn to see you, to know you in your depths. True connection is built on this mutual seeing, this empathetic understanding. There’s a magic in reciprocation, in feeling truly seen and valued. Let’s embrace this, let’s be fully ourselves and let’s dive deep into knowing each other. Let’s swim in each other’s emotions and let’s bring our connection to a whole new level.

This intimacy can blossom in any relationship, between lovers, friends, kindred spirits, platonic intimacy is just as real as intimacy between physical lovers. I write these words, I create this music, because I crave to be seen. I want to be known in my essence, and I want to know you in yours. Let’s see each other, truly and deeply. Let’s look beyond the physical, beyond the ego driven dichotomy of right vs wrong, and let’s connect on a soul level.

Of course, there’s a caution. Some may hide behind masks, projecting a false image. We all know those who share curated versions of their lives on social media, who rob themselves of true connection in favor of illusion. Sometimes this comes from a place of pain and unawareness, and sometimes it’s a deliberate choice. But I say, let’s be different. Let’s strip away the armor of ego and let’s be true. Let’s truly see each other, and let’s let ourselves be seen.

This is my invitation to you, my call to action. Let’s engage with each other on a deeper level. Let’s create, let’s express, let’s be true. Let’s see each other, and let’s let ourselves be seen. Who’s with me?

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Perceived Value is Everything if you Wish to Become Financially Free

The most important skill a person can develop for their financial well-being is the ability to create a perception of value in the eyes of others. The person who masters this mindset shift will have unlimited upside potential. This skill is transferable, so no matter how the market changes, you’ll always be able to create new wealth. It’s not about effort, time commitment, or just showing up; it’s about offering enough value that others are willing to pay for it.

When you can do this, you might as well be your own Federal Reserve, printing money out of thin air, regardless of market conditions. This is because people always spend on what they perceive as valuable, and those priorities shift from moment to moment based on various factors, including market conditions. Your ability to adapt and create perceived value ensures you can thrive in any environment.

For this discussion, there are two areas in business where you can leverage this skill: as an employee or as an entrepreneur focused on passive income. With a traditional job or as a non-passive-income entrepreneur, income is perpetually tied to time and effort. With a job, your income is time-based and predetermined, so the value you provide doesn’t impact your current pay, though it could affect future employment. While the money is guaranteed for the time you’ve put in, the trade-off is that it’s never-ending, has a built-in ceiling set by someone else, and can be taken away at any time without reason.

The most secure, stable, and time-freedom-oriented scenario is to be among the few with the skill set to create perceived value. This has no downside, only unlimited upside, and keeps control with the individual. By mastering this skill, you can break free from the limitations of a traditional income and build a financial future on your own terms.

The primary reason this is so challenging for most is that our system has conditioned people to trade time for a guaranteed paycheck, regardless of the value they provide. We’re taught from a young age that going to school, getting good grades, and landing a secure job is the path to success. But this path often leads to a cycle of trading time for money, with little room for growth or freedom. To break this cycle, you must rewire your mindset and focus on creating value that others are willing to pay for. This takes effort and adaptation, but the payoff is a life with no limits.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Will you love me for who I am, not for who I used to be?

Don’t confine me to a box meant for objects, not for a person capable of growth. I’ve paid attention, I’ve learned, I’ve evolved. I’m not the same person I was yesterday, and I won’t remain the same today in order to become something more tomorrow. This evolution of my being will continue until the day I die, and even then, there’s the possibility of perpetual evolution in the afterlife.

How would you feel if someone punished you for the mistakes of your past, knowing you’re not the same person today who erred yesterday? It’s like holding a butterfly accountable for the caterpillar it once was. I’ve spread my wings, I’ve flown away from the person I used to be. Can’t you see the change in me? Can’t you see that I’ve grown?

They tried to bury me, but they didn’t realize I was a seed about to burst through the dirt and reach for the sky. I’ve broken free from the chains of my former self. I’ve blossomed into something new, something beautiful. Won’t you nurture this growth in me? Won’t you love me for who I am now, not for who I used to be?

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Surfing and Dancing Parallels Lived Life Experiences

My lived experience as a dancer has some interesting parallels with surfing that I was just thinking about. Just as a surfer must paddle through many mediocre waves to catch that rare, perfect wave, with dance I personally must move through numerous partners with mediocre chemistry to find that special, magical connection. It’s a numbers game, really. The more waves you chase, the more likely you are to catch that heart-pounding, exhilarating ride all the way to shore. Similarly, the more I dance, the more frequently I lock eyes and body movement with that one follow who just gets it, who moves in perfect sync with me.

When the connection isn’t there, as a lead, I set the tone. Sometimes it’s mirrored and sometimes it’s not. Sometimes I have to mirror my follow first before so that I can elevate the energy of our dance connection. It’s a delicate balance, a subtle negotiation of give and take, push and pull. But with experience, with time, I’m learning to read the signs, to sense the potential in every new partner. I’m learning to nurture it, to fan the sparks into flames.

I know that as I continue to give myself these experiences, as I continue to pay attention and remain sensitive to various energies from my various follows, I will innately become more skilled and effective at elevating the energy of the follows I don’t connect with well at the beginning of a dance. It’s a journey. And just as the hunt for the perfect wave is often more rewarding than the ride itself, so too is the pursuit of that magical dance connection just as valuable as the connection itself.

Because in the end, it’s not just about that one, perfect dance. It’s about growth, about learning, about pushing past your limits and discovering what you’re truly capable of. It’s about the journey, the struggle, the triumph. And just as every surfer knows that the only way to catch that perfect wave is to keep paddling, to keep chasing, so too must every dancer keep moving, keep seeking, keep surrendering to the music and the moment.

Let’s dance. Let shut our minds off and flow.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

May it always feel like the beginning?

What’s the secret to a relationship with a lover that keeps growing? Live each day like it’s the start of something new. Embrace every moment, every lesson, as if it’s your first, no matter how far you’ve come. The same can be said as a student of dance. The best mindset to have is a beginners mindset no matter how advanced.

Some might say it’s unrealistic to expect that initial excitement, those butterflies, to last forever. But I believe it’s more nuanced than that. Hold onto those feelings, let them renew you and your lover each day, even as you build a shared future based on a common goal.

In my experience, holding onto even a little armor of self-protection can lead to moments of immaturity, sabotage, and regret. Even if the spark remains, things can fall apart in an instant.

The key is to shed that self-protection armour, even if it’s hard. It makes you vulnerable, raw. You’ll learn who’s truly with you and who’s not. You’ll discover who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. Shedding armor is hard, but once it’s gone, you’ll never want it back. It’s easy to keep it off. What was uncomfortable becomes comfortable. It changes you at your core. I’m not the same person anymore. This growth cements progress, makes it impossible to fall back into old mistakes. On this journey, the only direction is forward, sometimes pausing until the next leap.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Pas de Deux part two: 5 Shared Connections of Dance Paralleled Intimate Relationships as well as Music

I recently had an eye-opening experience in a dance class that I naturally thought of parallels for in how we approach intimate relationships and music. The teacher taught us about the five connections we must internalize as dancers, in order of priority. The number one priority is the connection you have with yourself. This self-connection is the foundation upon which all else is built. It’s about being fully present in your own body, aware of your breath, and centered in your power, much like the silence between notes that allows the music to resonate.

The next priority is your connection to the floor. This represents your grounding and stability. Just as a tree must have deep roots to weather life’s storms, we must feel secure and supported to move through the world with grace and confidence, like a steady drumbeat that anchors the melody.

After that is your connection with your partner. This is about trust, communication, and harmony, the same elements that come together to create a beautiful song. When both partners are in sync, the dance becomes a seamless co-created expression of unity, like two instruments blending in perfect harmony.

The fourth connection is with the music. This is where emotion and passion intensify, just as a powerful crescendo stirs the soul. The music is the heart and soul of the dance, and surrendering to its rhythm allows us to express our deepest feelings and connect with something greater than ourselves, much like how our favorite songs can evoke profound emotions and memories.

The final, and lowest priority, is the actual dance moves themselves. This may seem shocking, as most dance classes focus predominantly on mastering the steps. But without the first four connections, the moves are empty and lackluster, like a song with a catchy melody but meaningless lyrics. They are the outer expression, the physical manifestation of the deeper connections.

This prioritization of connections has profound parallels in our romantic and intimate relationships as well as in how we connect with the music that we love that moves us. A healthy relationship requires, first and foremost, a deep connection with ourselves. We must know and love ourselves in order to fully open to another, just as a musician must understand their own instrument to truly express themselves through music. Next is our connection to the earth, our sense of grounding and well-being. Then comes our connection with our lover, built on trust, open communication, and harmony, the same elements that create a beautiful symphony. After that is our connection with the external environment, our community and the world around us, like the audience that receives and responds to the music. And lastly, the activities we do together, the outward expressions of our love, are like the different genres and styles we explore in our musical journey.

When we prioritize these connections, the activities we do together become infused with meaning and joy, like a song that speaks directly to our hearts. If I’m in love with a woman, I’ll cherish every moment with her, no matter what we’re doing. Whether we’re cooking dinner, taking a walk, literally dancing, co-creating music, making love, traveling, or simply sitting together in silence, I’ll be fully present and engaged, like a musician fully immersed in their performance. Our reciprocating emotional passion will make every experience a dance of love and connection, a beautiful composition of movement and melody. And, if I happen to be in a loving relationship with an intimate partner who also is an actual dancer, then we can share in this paralleled dance both literally and figuratively together, moving in perfect harmony like two instruments in an orchestra.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Does the brain know the difference between a breakup with a lover or the death of a loved one?

When we lose a lover..

whether through a breakup or death, our brains experience a similar kind of grief. The emotions involved may differ, but the process of mourning and healing we go through is quite alike. I believe our brains don’t differentiate between the pain of a breakup and the pain of a loss through death. Both types of losses are a separation from someone we deeply loved and to whom we felt connected.

The grieving process can be intense. We may go through stages like denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance, much like those experienced when someone dies. Even if a relationship ended by mutual choice, the sense of loss can still be profound. We grieve not just the person, but also the future we had envisioned with them.

But there is always hope for healing no matter how painful. Acknowledge these feelings and give yourself permission for time to grieve. Reach out to supportive friends, family, or a therapist for help processing these emotions. Engage in self-care like healthy eating, regular exercise, treating yourself to stuff you don’t normally treat yourself to, and sufficient sleep. Consider a hobby, passion, or new activity to take your mind off what pains you and bring in fresh experiences. And practice patience and kindness with yourself throughout the journey. With time, we can navigate the grief and move forward.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

The Power of Platonic Intimacy: Nurturing Emotional Health Beyond Romance

When we think of intimacy, our minds often jump to the romantic and physical. Yet, intimacy encompasses so much more. Platonic intimacy, the deep connections we share with close friends, plays a vital role in our emotional and psychological well-being. It’s a reminder that not all intimacy is romantic, and that nurturing these non-romantic relationships is essential for a healthy, happy life.

Platonic intimacy offers a wealth of benefits for our emotional health. Close friends provide a sense of belonging and acceptance, which are crucial for our self-esteem and confidence. They offer emotional support during life’s challenges, helping us feel less alone in our struggles. Shared laughter and joy with close friends boosts our mood, reducing stress and anxiety. These relationships also encourage personal growth, as friends help us gain new perspectives and challenge us to become our best selves.

The psychological benefits are just as profound. Platonic intimacy helps us develop empathy, communication skills, and conflict resolution strategies. These skills benefit all our relationships, romantic, professional, and familial. Close friends also provide a sounding board for our thoughts and feelings, promoting self-understanding and mental clarity.

While platonic intimacy is deeply rewarding, it’s essential to approach these relationships ethically. Respect is key. We must respect our friends’ boundaries, never pressuring them to be more vulnerable than they’re comfortable with. Consent in emotional intimacy is just as crucial as in physical intimacy. It’s also important to avoid placing unfair burdens on friends, recognizing they have their own struggles and limits.

It’s also essential to avoid ‘crossing the line’ into behaviors that could be misconstrued as romantic or sexual. While platonic intimacy is deep, it’s not about fulfilling romantic or sexual needs. Behaviors that blur this line, like excessive flirting or inappropriately personal questions, are unethical and can damage the relationship.

So, how can we nurture platonic intimacy in an ethical, healthy way? First, prioritize time with close friends, as shared experiences deepen bonds. Practice vulnerability, openly sharing your thoughts and feelings. Yet, respect when friends aren’t ready to reciprocate this vulnerability. Encourage and celebrate friends’ successes, showing genuine interest in their lives. Work through conflicts openly and honestly, using these moments to strengthen understanding. Above all, treat friends with the same kindness, empathy, and respect you wish for yourself.

Platonic intimacy is a beautiful gift, one that enriches our lives in ways romantic love cannot. By nurturing these relationships with respect, care, and open communication, we can reap the many rewards of close friendship. In a world that often focuses on romantic love, let’s celebrate the power of platonic intimacy to bring joy, support, and meaning to our lives.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Embrace, Filter, Grow: Beyond Sponges and Walls Discerning Openness

I adore the dance of being open to trying new things, of embracing fresh experiences that spark excitement in my soul. Yet, I equally cherish the clarity to say a firm “no” when something doesn’t align with my heart’s desires. I’ve observed that some people are like sponges, soaking up everything without discernment, while others build walls, shutting out potential growth. But I believe there’s a beautiful middle ground.

A place where curiosity whispers “what if?” and wisdom gently guides us to discern which new experiences will truly nourish us, and which might leave us feeling drained. It’s this balance I strive for – the courage to explore, and the confidence to choose what’s truly good for my soul. And I invite you to join me in this dance. Let’s embrace the thrill of the new, but let’s do it with intention.

Let’s be brave enough to try, and wise enough to know when to say no. Let’s fill our lives with experiences that light us up, and learn to release what dims our spark. The world is full of possibilities – let’s explore them with open hearts and mindful wisdom.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Lactate: The Body’s Mechanical Fountain of Youth for your Brain

Lactate is the body’s fountain of youth for the brain.

First off, your brain loves lactate. It’s like its go-to energy drink. See, your mitochondria (those are like the powerhouses of your cells) find it way more efficient to run on lactate than glucose. And here’s the kicker – your brain is actually wired to run on lactate. Your brain’s support cells, called astrocytes, gobble up glucose and spit out lactate for your neurons to use. It’s a clever little system, right?

Now, things get really fascinating. When your neurons run on lactate, they conserve glucose. That conserved glucose gets diverted to create NADPH, a key player in making glutathione, your brain’s top-tier antioxidant. It’s like having a supercharged defense system to keep your brain sharp, young, resilient, and healthy.

Lactate: The Brain-Building Signal

So, lactate is like a power-up for your neurons, but it also triggers a ton of beneficial changes in your brain. One of the big ones is that it promotes the growth of new mitochondria in your neurons. Think of it like leveling up your brain’s energy production.

And remember how we talked about lactate being a signal? Well, when your neurons use more lactate, they start pumping out neurotransmitters like norepinephrine, which helps you focus and be at the top of your game. It’s like a shot of mental clarity.

But the biggest deal might be that lactate signals your brain to produce more BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor). BDNF is like the ultimate neuroprotector. It helps your neurons survive and thrive, and it’s key to neuroplasticity – your brain’s ability to adapt and change. Higher BDNF levels mean better memory, sharper cognition, and protection against neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s. It’s like a youth elixir for your brain.

Lactate: The Blood-Brain Barrier Booster

And the benefits don’t stop there. Lactate also signals the blood-brain barrier (that’s the tight barrier that controls what gets into your brain) to produce more VEGF (vascular endothelial growth factor). VEGF is like a call to action for your blood vessels. It promotes angiogenesis, the growth of new tiny vessels, and helps repair damaged ones. Think of it like keeping the roads into your brain clear and flowing.

This is huge, because breakdown of the blood-brain barrier is a major player in brain aging and neuroinflammation. It’s like a vicious cycle that can lead to dementia. So, by promoting healthy blood vessels, lactate is helping to keep your brain young and resilient.

The Bottom Line Solution: Vigorous exercise, such as HIIT training, for a Higher Brain

Now, don’t get me wrong, all exercise is awesome for your brain. The increased blood flow, the improved cardiovascular fitness, the rush of neurotransmitters and endorphins – it all adds up to a brain that’s performing at its best. But there’s something special about HIIT, about pushing yourself to that point where you’re producing a ton of lactate.

It’s like you’re unleashing a cascade of benefits that take your brain to the next level. You’re fueling your neurons, supercharging your defenses, promoting growth and adaptation, and keeping your brain young and resilient. And it’s all thanks to that hard work you’re putting in when you push yourself to the limit.

Okay, last thing I want to touch on is how exercise impacts your mitochondria. Those are the little energy factories inside your cells, and they’re way important for everything from your muscles to your brain to your liver. The problem is, as we age, our mitochondria start to lose their superpower. They get less efficient at cranking out energy, and that’s a problem. But there’s a silver lining – exercise, especially the vigorous kind, can actually increase the number of mitochondria you have. This is called mitochondrial biogenesis, and it’s like your cells are adapting to the demand you’re putting on them by building more of those energy factories.

One of the key ways exercise triggers mitochondrial biogenesis is through the metabolic stress of vigorous exercise. Remember how we were just talking about lactate? When you’re doing HIIT and generating a ton of lactate, that lactate acts as a signal to rev up one of the main pathways that controls mitochondrial biogenesis. So when you’re doing that Norwegian 4×4 protocol or any other kind of intense intervals, the lactate you’re generating is like a signal flare telling your cells to build more mitochondria. And that means they’ll be more efficient at producing energy, which is good news for everything from your workouts to your overall health.

Bottom line, regular vigorous exercise, such as HIIT training, produces Lactate as a way to communicate with your entire body through your circulatory system which leads to a whole host of chain reactions that functions as your brains ultimate fountain of youth.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

You don’t know if you’re going to be here from one day to the next so today, right NOW, gets top priority.

Living now, living in the past, and living for tomorrow is a spectrum that deserves critical thought and balance. One extreme end of the spectrum is to be living only for now, giving in to every whim and desire without consideration for the consequences. This makes a person susceptible to doing things right now that will cause their demise and prevent them from also being able to enjoy tomorrow. For example, reckless behaviors like substance abuse or financial irresponsibility might offer temporary pleasure but lead to long-term harm.

The other end of the spectrum would be living only for tomorrow, constant planning and preparing without ever stopping to smell the roses. This makes it impossible to also live and find joy in today. You might become so focused on your goals that you neglect to appreciate the journey, to celebrate small victories, and to find happiness in the present.

The ideal is to find a healthy middle ground, to be mindful of the present while still considering the future. Do things now that your future self will thank you for, like making healthy choices, pursuing dreams or achievement, and building strong relationships. And do things now that your present moment will thank you for, like taking time to relax, pursuing hobbies & passions, and showing love and kindness to others.

The past is there to learn from and become a better version of yourself as you enjoy now and tomorrow. Reflect on your experiences, both successes and failures, and use those lessons to grow and improve. Don’t dwell on past mistakes but rather use them as opportunities for self-improvement. And cherish fond memories as they add richness and context to your life.

By embracing this balanced approach, you can live a life that is both meaningful in the moment and fulfilling in the long run. You can find joy and purpose in the present while still working towards a bright future. And through it all, you can become the best version of yourself, living a life you can be proud of.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Embracing the Beauty of Differences in Relationships

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to be opposite. You don’t have to be similar in everything. In fact, having a lover with different strengths can create a beautifully balanced relationship that parallels the beauty found in harmonies that exist in musical melodies.

Take neuroticism, for example. If my lover is a high neurotic person, she is excellent at “what if” scenarios and preventing problems from happening. She will think through all the potentials, worry a lot, and always have a backup plan to a backup plan to a backup plan. This means she rarely ever has a crisis or a problem but may be stressed out a lot.

On the other hand, low neurotic people are great in a crisis. If I am low neurotic, I’m the calm, level-headed one. I’m the rock that provides a safe grounding for someone going through something stressful. Having a low neurotic lover can be a lifesaver during anxious moments.

I’ve experienced that having both high and low neuroticism in a relationship can be incredibly beneficial. If you have someone preventing a crisis and someone who shines in a crisis, you’re covered. But if you’re both low neurotics, you might find yourselves in trouble – like accumulating financial debt because neither of you is proactive enough about preventing problems.

The key is understanding the mechanics of your differences and leveraging them for your strengths. I’ve learned to pick my traits carefully and communicate openly with my lover, absent of any self-protective armor, about what I need. Even just a small sliver of self-protective armor can sadly sabotage and do a disservice to myself and my lover. If I have a romantic partner and she’s feeling worried or nervous, she can talk through it with me because I’m calm and grounding for her. I won’t get upset or impatient with her. If she were to go to another high neurotic person, they might just make her more anxious! But with me, she finds grounding, safety, and peace.

The beauty of differences can make a loving relationship incredibly resilient. By embracing our unique qualities and learning to support each other, something truly special and emotionally intelligent can be built. So don’t be afraid of differences in relationships. With understanding, communication, a little patience, and the removal of all self-protective armor, you can turn your contrasts into strengths and build a love that lasts.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

The Power of Quitting

We’ve all heard the mantra: quitters never win, and winners never quit. But what if I told you that’s only half the story? Quitting isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it can be a powerful strategy for success that propels you forward. Give yourself permission to quit when it serves you and makes you bigger rather than when it destroys you and makes you smaller.

Think about it like this: if you’re stuck on a path that’s just not working, stubbornly slogging forward won’t get you any closer to your goal. Sometimes, quitting one approach to try a new one that still aligns with your ultimate vision is the smartest move you can make. It’s about quitting the method, not the mission.

However, if you’re quitting on your goal altogether, throwing in the towel the moment things get tough, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. At that point, you’re not just quitting – you’re giving up. And giving up is what makes you a loser.

Society loves to label quitting as the default to instant failure. But the truth is, quitting can be a powerful tool in your arsenal. It all depends on what you’re quitting, and why.

Imagine this: you’re stuck on a flawed approach that’s draining your energy and getting you nowhere. Abandoning that approach to make way for a better one isn’t failure – it’s adaptation. It’s evolution. Think of it like this: Plan A didn’t work, so it’s time to move on to Plan B. Maybe Plan A just needs a little refining rather than a complete overhaul.

That’s where the “fire, ready, aim” philosophy can catapult you forward. This approach is all about taking bold action, recalibrating based on what you’ve learned, refining your approach, and charging forward once again. It’s about creating an endless feedback loop of action, learning, and improvement until you start making real progress.

Just for fun let’s come up with a list of things and ideas that might be worth quitting on..

quit saying no to your health..

quit saying no to opportunity..

quit neglecting your personal growth & development..

quit regularly eating toxic foods..

quit spending time and energy with toxic people..

quit venting on facebook all the time..

quit making excuses..

quit selling your time for a paycheck..

quit being an obedient worker to a system that can take away your income at any time for any reason..

quit anything that isn’t making you better, more free, and happier..

Quit denying your dreams..

And most of all.. Quit hating yummy vegan chocolate =)

So don’t be afraid to quit. Quitting might just be the best decision you ever make. Embrace the “fire, ready, aim” philosophy: act, recalibrate, refine, and charge forward. With this mindset, there’s no obstacle you can’t overcome, and possibly no goal you can’t achieve.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Some are Hungry to Win While Others are Hungry to do what is Required to Win

The Hunger Paradox

There’s a crucial difference between being hungry to win and being hungry to do what winning requires. The first mindset focuses on the outcome, while the second focuses on the daily actions necessary to achieve that outcome. This subtle shift in perspective can be the difference maker that stacks the odds either for or against you.

Winning Isn’t a Destination

Winning doesn’t happen overnight. It demands consistent, relevant action. As you continually learn, take action, and refine your approach, you’ll inevitably stack the odds in your favor, making winning an almost certain outcome. The alternative, of course, is to quit. But quitting isn’t always a bad thing. It depends on the context. If you’re quitting one approach to try a new one that still aligns with your ultimate goal, then quitting can actually help you win. However, if you’re quitting on your goal altogether, then you’re setting yourself up for failure and at that point you’re just a loser.

The Power of Quitting

Quitting is commonly known as the default to instant failure, but it can be a powerful strategy. It depends on what you’re quitting and why. If you’re abandoning a flawed approach to make a way for a better one, that’s not failure, that’s adaptation. Think of it like this: Plan A didn’t work, so it’s time to move on to Plan B. Maybe Plan A just needs a little refining rather than a complete overhaul. That’s where the “fire, ready, aim” philosophy can catapult a person forward. Take action, recalibrate based on what you’ve learned, refine your approach, and take action again. Repeat this process in an endless loop until you start making reasonable progress in a reasonable amount of time. That’s how you’ll know you’re on the right track. Embrace the “fire, ready, aim” philosophy: act, recalibrate, refine, and charge forward.

Measuring Progress

To gauge your progress, set some markers starting with a baseline. This will give you something to measure against. For example, let’s talk about money. Building wealth is a worthy common goal, and money is easy to quantify. But you have to factor in inflation. If inflation is 4% per year and you’re only growing your wealth by 3%, then you’re actually losing ground. Even if you’re matching inflation, you’re just treading water. You need to be growing your wealth at a rate that outpaces inflation. But what’s a reasonable target? 2% above inflation? 5%? 10%? That’s for you to decide, based on your goals and your finite time.

The Intangible Goals

But what about the goals that can’t be measured? Love, happiness, fulfillment – these are the wins that touch our hearts. We can’t quantify love or joy or fulfillment using numbers.

The best we can do to measure our feelings is by various pain scales such as the Numerical rating scales which uses numbers to rate pain. Or the visual analog scales which asks you to select a picture that best matches your pain level. And the Categorical scales which Primarily uses words, possibly along with numbers, colors, or locations on the body. How do we measure love? The opposite of pain. The best answer I have is to measure the heart flutters, the butterflies in your stomach, the giddiness, the tingles you feel throughout your mind and your body on a scale from 1 to 10. But who wants to do that? When you’re in love you just want to swim in how that feels. And that is totally valid! I’ve never once thought to try and scientifically measure feelings of love I have. When you’re in love, you just want to bask in the glow of it all.

Seizing the Day

At the end of the day, winning often just means having the guts to go for it. To take life by the horns and decide that you’ll do whatever it takes, as long as you keep moving forward. That’s the hunger that leads to winning. So, do, learn, refine, do again, and keep repeating. Embrace the journey, and the wins will follow.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Powering Your Heart through the Dynamic Duo of Mitochondria and Glucose Triggered by Vigorous Exercise

As we age, our hearts undergo some pretty dramatic changes. They start to shrink and get stiffer, kind of like how a rubber band loses its spring over time. This can make it harder for our hearts to pump blood efficiently, which can leave us feeling winded even after light exercise. And that’s not all – it also increases our risk of heart problems down the line.

But here’s the amazing part: exercise, especially the vigorous kind, can actually combat some of these effects. In fact, one landmark study, published by Ben Lavin M.D. of Internal Medicine and Sports Cardiology, found that just two years of intense exercise in people in their 50s could make their hearts look 20 years younger! That’s right, their 50-year-old hearts were indistinguishable from those of 30-year-olds. That’s the power of exercise!

So what kind of exercise are we talking about? The study participants started with a six-month ramp-up period, where they worked their way up to exercising five to six hours a week. A big chunk of that was at what’s called maximal steady state intensity – think of it like the highest level you can sustain without collapsing in a heap. They also threw in some Norwegian 4×4 max interval training.

The results were nothing short of astonishing. After just two years, these 50-year-olds had essentially reversed the aging process in their hearts. That’s the kind of benefit we’re talking about when we talk about vigorous exercise and heart health.

Okay, let’s shift gears and talk about how exercise impacts the way our bodies handle sugar. This is where things get really interesting, especially when it comes to high-intensity interval training (HIIT). It turns out HIIT is way better at improving insulin sensitivity and glucose control than your run-of-the-mill moderate-intensity workouts. And it gets those benefits way faster, too. Sure, any kind of exercise is going to help your muscles get better at handling sugar, but HIIT just does it more efficiently and more powerfully.

So why is that? Well, when you’re doing HIIT, your body is screaming for energy fast. It’s got to rely on both your aerobic (oxygen-using) and anaerobic (non-oxygen-using) systems to deliver. The anaerobic system is what kicks in when you’re really pushing it, and it produces a bunch of lactate as a byproduct. For a long time, everyone thought lactate was basically just waste that made your muscles tired. But it turns out that’s totally wrong.

Lactate is actually used as fuel by your muscles and other tissues like your heart, liver, and brain. It even gets shuttled into your mitochondria (those energy-producing powerhouses inside your cells) to be burned up. And it doesn’t stop there – lactate also acts as a signal, telling your cells to up their game. One of the key messages it sends is to increase the number of glucose transporters on your muscle cells. Those are like little doors that let sugar in. So when lactate builds up during HIIT, it’s like a signal flare going off, telling your muscles to open up those doors and let the glucose flood in. That makes your muscles way more efficient at sucking up sugar from your bloodstream, even when you’re just chillin’ on the couch. And that means your insulin sensitivity gets a big boost, and your blood sugar stays in a healthy range.

There’s been tons of research showing HIIT can improve glucose uptake, crank up insulin sensitivity, and even cut the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. A lot of that probably has to do with the intense metabolic stress of HIIT, which gets those glucose transporters really revved up. And it’s not just about the stress – HIIT also makes your muscles as a whole more fit, which helps them handle sugar better. It’s just that with HIIT, you get that lactate signal right away, telling your muscles to open up those glucose doors. With steady-state cardio, you’ve got to go longer to get the same benefit.

Okay, last thing I want to touch on is how exercise impacts your mitochondria. Those are the little energy factories inside your cells, and they’re way important for everything from your muscles to your brain to your liver. The problem is, as we age, our mitochondria start to lose their mojo. They get less efficient at cranking out energy, and that’s a problem. But there’s a silver lining – exercise, especially the vigorous kind, can actually increase the number of mitochondria you have. This is called mitochondrial biogenesis, and it’s like your cells are adapting to the demand you’re putting on them by building more of those energy factories.

One of the key ways exercise triggers mitochondrial biogenesis is through the metabolic stress of vigorous exercise. Remember how we were just talking about lactate? Well, it’s back again. When you’re doing HIIT and generating a ton of lactate, that lactate acts as a signal to rev up one of the main pathways that controls mitochondrial biogenesis. So when you’re doing that Norwegian 4×4 protocol or any other kind of intense intervals, the lactate you’re generating is like a signal flare telling your cells to build more mitochondria. And that means they’ll be more efficient at producing energy, which is good news for everything from your workouts to your overall health.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

V02 Max: Set Yourself Up for a Longer, Healthier, More Durable Life to Fully Enjoy

When we talk about cardiorespiratory fitness, healthspan, and longevity, one term comes up again and again: VO2 Max (Volume of oxygen consumed maximum). But what exactly is it? Simply put, VO2 Max is your body’s maximum ability to use oxygen during exercise. It’s the gold standard for measuring cardiorespiratory fitness. The higher your VO2 Max, the more efficient your body is at delivering oxygen to your muscles, and the better your overall health and fitness.

Research has consistently shown that higher VO2 Max levels are linked to a lower risk of death and a longer lifespan. In fact, one study found that for every unit increase in VO2 Max (that’s 1 milliliter per kilogram per minute), life expectancy increases by 45 days. For men, a 10-unit increase in VO2 Max was associated with a 70-77% lower risk of death from cancer and an 11% lower risk of death from all causes.

The best part? The greatest longevity benefits from improving your VO2 Max come from moving out of that below-average category. Even going from a below-normal VO2 Max to a low-normal one can increase life expectancy by 2.1 years. Bumping it up to a high-normal VO2 Max is associated with a 2.9-year increase in life expectancy, and reaching the upper limit of normal can add almost 5 years to your life.

So, how can you improve your VO2 Max and reap these incredible benefits? It all starts with moving out of that low fitness group – a shift that can add years to your life. Stunningly, people in the low fitness group face a fivefold higher risk of death compared to elite performers. But here’s the eye-opener: the risk of dying due to low fitness is similar, or even greater, than the risks associated with having heart disease, smoking, or diabetes. Being fitter is a game-changer for your health, no matter your current level. And the best part? There’s always room to improve.

So, how can you take your VO2 Max to the next level? The answer lies in a variety of targeted training protocols. Different training protocols like Zone 2 training and high-intensity interval training (HIIT) can all improve cardiorespiratory fitness and increase VO2 Max. HIIT, in particular, has been shown to significantly improve VO2 Max even with shorter training durations. This is because HIIT recruits both aerobic and anaerobic energy systems and increases the intensity of the workout, resulting in greater cardiovascular stress and triggering powerful adaptations.

But here’s the thing: about 40% of people do not see a measurable increase in their VO2 Max even after months of guideline-based moderate-intensity exercise (about 2.5 hours per week). These “non-responders” only start to see improvements in VO2 Max when they incorporate more vigorous intensity exercise, like HIIT, into their routine. This suggests that adding higher-intensity exercise to your workout routine can help eliminate non-response and lead to greater benefits in cardiorespiratory fitness.

So, how much time should you dedicate to more vigorous versus moderate-intensity exercise? The answer depends on your individual goals, what you enjoy, and what you’ll stick to consistently. For endurance athletes doing extensive amounts of training (between 10-30 hours a week), the 80/20 rule applies: 80% of their training is zone 2, and 20% is shorter, higher-intensity workouts. But this rule shouldn’t be applied to committed or casual exercisers doing under 10 hours a week. For them, at least half (and for casual exercisers, more than half) of their exercise time should be spent doing vigorous exercise to push limits and ensure adaptations.

There are many effective VO2 Max training protocols that incorporate HIIT. One example is doing 3-5 minute intervals at the highest sustainable intensity, with rest and recovery in between, for a total of 20 minutes. Another popular variation is the Norwegian 4×4 interval training protocol, where 4-minute intervals at 85-95% max heart rate are followed by 3 minutes of light recovery. These intervals are repeated four times. A less intense but still effective option is the 1-minute on, 1-minute off protocol, where you do 1 minute of all-out intensity followed by 1 minute of recovery, repeated 10-15 times for about 25 minutes.

Remember, these are just templates and starting points. The best protocol for you will depend on your individual fitness goals and what you can stick to consistently. The key is to find a routine that challenges you, that you enjoy, and that you’ll do regularly. With consistency and intensity, you can improve your VO2 Max, increase your cardiorespiratory fitness, and set yourself up for a longer, healthier, happier life.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Keep your Brain Young and Resilient Through Lactate and the Blood brain Barrier Triggered by Vigorous Exercise

Get Ready for a Mind-Blowing Workout!

Hey there, fitness fans! Today we’re going to geek out on how high-intensity exercise transforms your brain. Yep, you heard that right – transforms. As in, takes it to a whole new level. Now, we all know exercise is brain food, but high-intensity interval training (HIIT) is like the premium stuff. Think neuroprotection, supercharged cognition, and a brain that’s firing on all cylinders.

So, what’s the magic ingredient? Lactate. That’s right, the same stuff you produce when you’re pushing yourself to the limit. During HIIT, your body cranks out lactate like crazy. And here’s the cool part – it’s not just a waste product, it’s a potent signal that sets off a chain reaction of benefits in your brain.

Lactate: The Brain’s Power-Up Fuel

First up, your neurons love lactate. It’s like their favorite energy drink. See, it’s way more efficient for your mitochondria (those are like the power plants of your cells) to use lactate than glucose. And get this – your brain is actually designed to run on lactate. The support cells in your brain, called astrocytes, they’re glucose-guzzlers. They break down glucose and spit out lactate, which your neurons then use for fuel. It’s like a clever little system, right?

Now, here’s where it gets really interesting. When your neurons use lactate, they spare glucose. And that glucose gets diverted to make something called NADPH, which is a key player in creating glutathione, your brain’s top-shelf antioxidant. Think of it like having a superpowered defense system to keep your brain healthy and sharp.

The Lactate Advantage: Traumatic Brain Injury

This gets really important when we talk about traumatic brain injury (TBI). After a TBI, your brain needs all the glutathione it can get, but it also needs glucose for your neurons to function. The problem is, those astrocytes that usually supply lactate get damaged, so there’s a shortage. But here’s the cool part – studies have shown that lactate infusions can improve outcomes for TBI patients. It’s like lactate steps in as a superhero, supplying that critical energy when it’s needed most.

Lactate: The Brain-Building Signal

Okay, so lactate is like a power-up for your neurons, but it’s also a signal that sets off a ton of beneficial changes in your brain. One of the big ones is that it promotes the growth of new mitochondria in your neurons. Think of it like leveling up your brain’s energy production.

And remember how we talked about lactate being a signal? Well, when your neurons use more lactate, they start pumping out neurotransmitters like norepinephrine, which helps you focus and be at the top of your game. It’s like a shot of mental clarity.

But the biggest deal might be that lactate signals your brain to produce more BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor). BDNF is like the ultimate neuroprotector. It helps your neurons survive and thrive, and it’s key to neuroplasticity – your brain’s ability to adapt and change. Higher BDNF levels mean better memory, sharper cognition, and protection against neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s. It’s like a youth elixir for your brain.

Lactate: The Blood-Brain Barrier Booster

And the benefits don’t stop there. Lactate also signals the blood-brain barrier (that’s the tight barrier that controls what gets into your brain) to produce more VEGF (vascular endothelial growth factor). VEGF is like a call to action for your blood vessels. It promotes angiogenesis, the growth of new tiny vessels, and helps repair damaged ones. Think of it like keeping the roads into your brain clear and flowing.

This is huge, because breakdown of the blood-brain barrier is a major player in brain aging and neuroinflammation. It’s like a vicious cycle that can lead to dementia. So, by promoting healthy blood vessels, lactate is helping to keep your brain young and resilient.

The Bottom Line: HIIT for a Higher Brain

Now, don’t get me wrong, all exercise is awesome for your brain. The increased blood flow, the improved cardiovascular fitness, the rush of neurotransmitters and endorphins – it all adds up to a brain that’s performing at its best. But there’s something special about HIIT, about pushing yourself to that point where you’re producing a ton of lactate.

It’s like you’re unleashing a cascade of benefits that take your brain to the next level. You’re fueling your neurons, supercharging your defenses, promoting growth and adaptation, and keeping your brain young and resilient. And it’s all thanks to that hard work you’re putting in when you push yourself to the limit.

So, next time you’re mid-workout and you feel that burn, just remember – you’re not just building a stronger body, you’re building a superpowered brain. Now, that’s a workout worth pushing for.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Your Heart can Structurally Change by 20 Years of Age Reversal Triggered by the Signaling Molecule Lactate

Imagine your heart, 20 years younger. Sounds like science fiction, right? But that’s exactly what happened in a groundbreaking study on exercise and aging. As we age, our hearts undergo changes – they shrink, stiffen, and lose function. This increases our risk of cardiovascular disease and decreases our ability to exercise. But what if you could reverse these changes?

Researchers at UT Southwest in Dallas studied 50-year-old sedentary adults who didn’t have type 2 diabetes or cardiovascular disease. The participants were placed on one of two exercise protocols: a control group that did light stretching and bodyweight exercises, and a high-intensity exercise group. The high-intensity group did the same light exercises as the control group but also added vigorous workouts to their routine. This included 4-5 hours of training per week, with a significant portion at maximum steady-state intensity (think 75-80% max heart rate for 20-30 minutes) and a session of high-intensity interval training (HIIT) per week.

After two years, the high-intensity group’s hearts had structurally changed to resemble those of 30-year-olds. Their hearts were larger and more flexible. Essentially, the high-intensity exercise protocol had reversed 20 years of aging in their hearts.

But the benefits of high-intensity exercise don’t stop at the heart. Blood pressure decreases with regular vigorous exercise are comparable to those seen with antihypertensive medications. High blood pressure is a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease and has recently been established as one of the most important early risk factors for dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. So, the fact that exercise can improve blood pressure as well as drugs is incredibly encouraging.

Now, let’s talk about the brain benefits of getting your heart rate up high. When you push your muscles to work so hard that they can’t get oxygen fast enough, they adapt by using glucose for energy without the mitochondria. This process, called anaerobic metabolism, produces lactate as a byproduct. Lactate was once thought to be a waste product, but it’s actually a very energy-efficient fuel source that’s used by the muscles, brain, heart, and liver. It’s easier to make energy from lactate than glucose.

Lactate also acts as a signaling molecule. When you exercise, your muscles communicate with the rest of your body through lactate. This triggers adaptations like increased muscle size and cardiovascular improvements. The brain, which works hard during exercise, also responds to lactate. One of the key ways it responds is by increasing production of a molecule called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF promotes the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus, a region of the brain important for learning and memory. It also supports neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt to a changing environment. People with depression have low levels of BDNF and neuroplasticity, which makes it hard for them to adapt and leads to depressive symptoms. So, high-intensity exercise is a great way to boost your brain health by increasing BDNF.

Lactate also signals the brain to make neurotransmitters like norepinephrine and serotonin. Studies have shown that even just 10 minutes of high-intensity interval training can improve cognition and mood by increasing these neurotransmitters. The protocols that maximize BDNF production involve high intensity and duration, such as 30-40 minutes at 80% max heart rate or 6 minutes of all-out HIIT intervals separated by recovery periods.

Finally, let’s talk about the anti-metastatic effects of vigorous exercise. We all know that exercise is one of the best ways to prevent cancer, but it also has benefits as an adjunct cancer treatment. One of the ways it does this is by killing circulating tumor cells through the shearing forces of increased blood flow. Circulating tumor cells escape the primary tumor, enter the bloodstream, and try to travel to other tissues and metastasize. But these cells are sensitive to the mechanical stress of blood flow and die when exposed to it. So, getting your blood flow up through exercise has an anti-metastatic effect.

In conclusion, high-intensity exercise has incredible benefits for both the heart and the brain. It can reverse 20 years of aging in the heart, improve blood pressure, boost brain health by increasing BDNF and neurotransmitters, reduce depression, and even have anti-metastatic effects. So, get out there and get your heart rate up – your body (and brain) will thank you!

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Depression, BDNF, and Neuroplasticity: A new perspective on Brain Health that Challenges the Traditional

Depression, it could simply be a matter of the brain’s inability to adapt to change due to low levels of BDNF and neuroplasticity. This concept shatters the traditional view of depression as strictly a chemical imbalance or genetic predisposition. Instead, it illuminates the critical role our brain’s resilience plays in withstanding life’s inevitable trials. Healthy levels of BDNF and neuroplasticity equip the brain to deftly navigate change, even the heart-wrenching kind that plunges us into depression – a soul-crushing breakup, the devastating loss of a loved one, or grueling life circumstances. Think of BDNF and neuroplasticity as the brain’s coping mechanisms, its capacity to flex and yield without shattering in the face of adversity.

This prompts an intriguing question: Am I succumbing to depression because of a painful circumstance in my life, or is my depression a result of inadequate brain health, with insufficient BDNF and neuroplasticity to adapt to life’s painful twists and turns? This potent question reframes our focus, shifting it from the external stressor to our internal fortitude in the face of that stress. It beckons us to explore whether our neural arsenal is equipped to weather life’s tempests without surrendering to the clutches of depression.

I put forth these ideas not to heap guilt upon those wrestling with depression, but to offer powerful empowering thought experiments. These reflections can guide us through life’s most jarring upheavals, illuminating a path towards emotional liberation from depression’s oppressive grip. Depression is a formidable foe that commands compassion and treatment. Yet, by grasping the pivotal role of BDNF and neuroplasticity, we can become proactive architects of our own healing journey.

So how does an individual go about a healthy production of BDNF and neuroplasticity from the brain? Lactate, a byproduct of intense physical exertion, serves as a potent messenger molecule. When you push your body to its limits through vigorous exercise, such as high intensity interval training (HIIT), your muscles engage in a dialogue with the rest of your body via a byproduct of vigorous exercise called lactate. This biochemical conversation sparks a cascade of adaptations, such as healthy muscle growth and enhanced cardiovascular prowess. The brain, which labors tirelessly during exercise, is also a keen listener to lactate’s signals. One of its key responses is to ramp up production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). BDNF is a tireless champion of neuronal growth in the hippocampus, a region in the brain vital for forging new memories, learning, and having insights which are valuable in moments of deep self-reflection. It also nurtures neuroplasticity, the brain’s remarkable ability to mold and adapt to a shifting landscape. In essence, exercise is the ultimate brain fertilizer, nourishing it to flourish with strength and resilience.

For those grappling with depression, low BDNF and neuroplasticity can render the brain inflexible, struggling to keep pace with life’s relentless ebb and flow. Their minds may feel brittle, as if on the brink of shattering under the weight of uncertainty. This is where high-intensity exercise emerges as a shining beacon of hope. By turbocharging BDNF production, it’s a natural elixir to bolster brain health. Prioritizing exercise allows us to take the reins in fortifying our neural defenses, cultivating the resilience needed to thrive even when challenged. Through physical movement, we become the architects of a stronger, more agile brain, one better equipped to withstand the tempests of depression.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

Smoothie Saboteurs: The Common Ingredients That Could Be Ruining Your Blueberry Boost

Picture this: you’re blending up a smoothie, tossing in those antioxidant-packed and polyphenol loaded blueberries, feeling like a total health rockstar… only to unwittingly add in ingredients that completely undermine those benefits.

The Culprits: Bananas, Beets, Chard, and Swiss Chard.

These otherwise powerfully healthy foods contain an enzyme called polyphenol oxidase. And as the name suggests, it’s like a wrecking ball for polyphenols – the very compounds you’re trying to get from your blueberries!

I used to be a banana-in-my-smoothie kind of guy. I loved how it added creaminess… until I discovered the polyphenol oxidase problem. And let me tell you, it evolved my smoothie game and I’m sad to say these polyphenol counteracting ingredients are found in every smoothie shop out there.

But wait, it gets worse. A 2023 study found that when people drank a smoothie with blueberries and banana, their polyphenol levels plummeted compared to those who had the blueberries alone. That means all those great brain benefits from the blueberries were essentially blocked by the banana!

There is really not a lot of foods you can put into a smoothie that would degrade the polyphenols, but of the ones that would counteract the polyphenols with their high polyphenol oxidase enzyme includes bananas, beets, anything in that family such as chard, and swiss chard. These foods are wonderful foods with powerful health benefits, just don’t put them in with blueberries. An ideal green that works beautifully with blueberries in your smoothies would be Kale Leaves, Spinach, or Romain Lettuce.

The Smoothie Recipe That Actually Works

Okay, enough about what not to do. Here’s my revised smoothie template recipe that boosts the benefits of those blueberries I got based from a recipe by Dr. Rhonda Patrick of Cell Biology and Biochemistry:

  • 4 Kale leaves
  • 1 Avocado
  • Copious amounts Frozen blueberries
  • Protein powder (I use Plant-Based Shakeology which includes 16 grams of Protein per serving. I do 2 servings a day)
  • hydrolyzed collagen (not needed if you have a good protein powder)
  • A heaping tablespoon of Moringa powder (this stuff is like a polyphenol supercharger!)
  • Water

About the Moringa powder. It’s like magic. It activates the same genetic pathways as sulforaphane (found in broccoli sprouts) to increase antioxidants in the brain, lower DNA damage, and more. Plus, it helps control blood sugar spikes from the smoothie!

Upgrade Your Smoothie Game

  • Ditch the banana! Add avocado instead for creaminess as well as it’s own health benefits.
  • Sneak in some kale, spinach or romaine.
  • Avoid beets and chard (save them for your salads)
  • Consider adding Moringa powder for an extra polyphenol boost and help with controlling blood sugar spikes.

Now it’s your turn! Give me your smoothie recipe and I’ll grade it for you.

Tom
https://linktr.ee/metalpalace

A Commitment to Growth and Love Instead of Fear and Silence

When past mistakes have caused pain, it’s natural to wonder if they’ll happen again. In long-term relationships, hurtful moments are likely, but the key question is: were they intentional? And can two lovers maturely use these moments to grow stronger and more in love?

Promising to never hurt someone is unrealistic. A more mature promise might be: “I’ll never intentionally hurt you, and when I unintentionally do, I’ll own up to it and we’ll grow from it.” Imperfect moments will come, but the goal is to never deceive, even in poor judgment, to shed all self protective armor, and to be rooted in love instead of fear or ego. True safety comes from vulnerability, love over fear, and the knowledge that hurtful moments will be met with awareness, growth, and a stronger bond.

Closing ourselves off, or communicating in bad faith is a disservice to all involved. Painful admissions are sometimes necessary. External challenges are easier to overcome than the internal ones where one partner has unintentionally hurt the other. If something matters, it can’t be an unspoken assumption. Verbalizing commitments feels good for both lovers. A commitment to growth and love instead of fear and silence.

Are we building a relationship together with shared goals? Do we both have a place in each other’s future plans? Can we envision a shared future together?

These are fundamental questions that are often overlooked or ignored. It may feel raw and even terrifying to address them head-on, but it’s a healthier way forward for both partners involved. If we’re just casually dating, it may not matter as much, but if our feelings are mutual and we’re truly rising in love, these questions deserve to be answered openly and honestly.

Gaining clarity and a shared vision for the future can be incredibly exciting. When we understand how we fit into each other’s plans and can see a shared vision take shape, we can watch our vision for a life together crystalize, and that’s something to be thrilled about. Feeling safe and nurtured with our lover, knowing that when hurt occurs they’ll be addressed with openness, care, and ultimate, deeper love, makes the heart and soul feel wonderful. Rather than feeling ashamed for wanting to have these conversations, we feel honored and loved. Perhaps this is the notable difference between falling in love or RISING in love between two lovers.

Read my blog post that inspired me to write the one you just read:
From Pain to Evolution: How Errors in Judgement Change Us at Our Core and Shape Our Humanity

-Tom

From Pain to Evolution: How Errors in Judgment Change Us at Our Core and Shape Our Humanity

What begins as a moment of immaturity can evolve into a stepping stone toward greater self-awareness and lasting change. Sometimes, a mistake or error in judgment serves as the ultimate catalyst for profound personal growth. But the question of meaningfulness: is this change one of evolution or devolution? Change is an inevitability, but the true measure lies in whether it refines or diminishes our humanity.

When assessing mistakes, I’ve come to realize that intention holds weight. The mistake, or error in judgement; was this intentionally nefarious or unintentionally hurtful to another human you really love? When someone hurts me I always consider intention because where someones heart is has deep meaning. The hurt inflicted by those we love resonates deeply, and understanding where their heart stood at the time sheds light on their actions. Yet, there exists a spectrum of errors, ranging from those that may heal with time to others that leave scars too deep to fully forgive.

Certain errors in judgement can be so soul shaking it changes your physical DNA structure forever, leaving an indelible mark on our being. This speaks to the intricate bond between our physical and non physical selves, and the necessity of nurturing both physical and non physical for holistic well-being. When you change forever in this way at your DNA it solidifies that this particular error in judgement could never be repeated again. THAT PART OF YOU HAS DIED BY THE PAIN that was inflicted. That moment of bad judgement can never be resurrected, instead it stays in the past only to be reflected upon as a lesson etched into our soul serving as a guide for a more evolved present and future. It makes a person a better human and a better lover.

In this way, our mistakes, though painful, can be the crucible in which we are refined. They challenge us to grow, to love more wisely, and to become better versions of ourselves for ourselves and for our lover. And it is in this evolution, this rise from the ashes of our former selves, that we find the grace to forgive, to be forgiven, to heal, and to love and be loved again, deeper and more fully than before.

Read my next blog post I spun off from the one you just read:
A Commitment to Love and Growth Instead of Fear and Silence

-Tom

Pas de Deux: 5 Shared Connections of Dance and Paralleled Intimate Relationships

I recently had an eye-opening experience in a dance class that I naturally thought of parallels for in how we approach intimate relationships. The teacher taught us about the five connections we must internalize as dancers, in order of priority. The number one priority is the connection you have with yourself. This self-connection is the foundation upon which all else is built. It’s about being fully present in your own body, aware of your breath, and centered in your power.

The next priority is your connection to the floor. This represents your grounding and stability. Just as a tree must have deep roots to weather life’s storms, we must feel secure and supported to move through the world with grace and confidence.

After that is your connection with your partner. This is about trust, communication, and harmony. When both partners are in sync, the dance becomes a beautiful, seamless co-created expression of unity.

The fourth connection is with the music. This is where emotion and passion intensifies. The music is the heart and soul of the dance, and surrendering to its rhythm allows us to express our deepest feelings and connect with something greater than ourselves.

The final, and lowest priority, is the actual dance moves themselves. This may seem shocking, as most dance classes focus predominantly on mastering the steps. But without the first four connections, the moves are empty and lackluster. They are the outer expression, the physical manifestation of the deeper connections.

This prioritization of connections has profound parallels in our romantic and intimate relationships. A healthy relationship requires, first and foremost, a deep connection with ourselves. We must know and love ourselves in order to fully open to another. Next is our connection to the earth, our sense of grounding and well-being. Then comes our connection with our lover, built on trust, open communication, and harmony. After that is our connection with the external environment, our community and the world around us. And lastly, the activities we do together, the outward expressions of our love.

When we prioritize these connections, the activities we do together become infused with meaning and joy. If I’m in love with a woman, I’ll cherish every moment with her, no matter what we’re doing. Whether we’re cooking dinner, taking a walk, literally dancing, co-creating music, making love, traveling, or simply sitting together in silence, I’ll be fully present and engaged. Our reciprocating emotional passion will make every experience a dance of love and connection. And, if I happen to be in a loving relationship with an intimate partner who also is an actual dance, then we can share in this paralleled dance both literally and figurative together.

-Tom

Physical passion versus emotional passion

Can you tell the difference? Physical passion intensely desires a body; emotional passion deeply loves a heart and soul. Emotional passion dominates, offering a unique lens through which to see the one you love.

Physical passion fades after orgasm; emotional passion pulses before, during, and after, intensifying even sexless intimacy. Emotional passion is a heart-to-heart connection, effortless like breathing. Physical passion is fleeting, like conquering a video game level, only to pursue the next conquest. The push-pull of “come here, I don’t want you” reveals its cognitive dissonance and shows up in physical symptoms.

Sharing reciprocal emotional passion nourishes physical and emotional well-being, a wholesome union of body and soul. Yet we often forget to nurture this interconnection holistically. Emotional passion is rare for me, yet it fulfills in ways physical passion cannot. True emotional passion prioritizes a lover’s happiness above one’s own, even if it means letting go. It’s easy like breathing is easy.

Real love creates space, understanding, and safety. It sheds ego and armor, favors clarity over confusion, and chooses love over fear. Real love heals, grows, and transforms challenges into opportunities. It stands naked, vulnerable, and enthusiastically reciprocated. Investing emotions risks repercussions, but real love fuels growth and strengthens bonds.

Investing emotions in a lover can have emotional repercussions. Love, like a work of art, is open to interpretation and can get lost in translation. It’s the real love combined with emotional passion that drives a mutual reciprocating desire to show up in good faith, understand the other, and ultimately uses the challenge at hand as a steppingstone for growth and an even stronger relationship connection built on a foundation that resembles more like concrete than quicksand.

In a recent dance class I learned about 5 different connections in order of priority. Priority number 1 is the connection you have with yourself. Next priority is your connection to the floor. After that is your connection with your partner, then with the music, and finally the lowest priority is the dance moves themselves which happens to be what most dance classes focus most on. Isn’t that crazy? The one thing we put the most focus on, the actual dance moves, ranks dead last in a prioritized list of the 5 connections. Can you see the parallels here? This prioritized list of five connections in a healthy relationship could be connection with yourself first, connection with the earth second, connection with your lover third, connection with the external environment forth, and lastly the activities you and your lover do together. If I’m in love with a woman I am going to enjoy my time with her regardless of what we are doing because we have reciprocating emotional passion. I’m going to elaborate more on this niche topic matter in my very next blog style post very soon. It’s worth exploring more.

Give and receive love.

My soul needs to give and receive love, selectively but often.

Tom

When someone you love is simultaneously the source of your pain and the unbearable paradox of confusion it creates, paralyzing your brain.

When the person you hold dearest is also the root of your anguish, their presence ignites an unbearable paradox within you.

Their actions, their words, their very presence seems to both captivate and wound you, as if your very soul is being stretched to the breaking point by two opposing forces.

You’re trapped in a cycle of yearning and hurting, of needing them yet fearing the potential for further pain they bring.

This paradox births a whirlwind of confusion that ravages your mind, leaving it reeling and paralyzed.

The love you harbor for them battles against the torment they inflict, forging an inescapable storm of conflicting emotions.

Each moment with them is a razor’s edge, cutting deeper into your soul with a pain that threatens to consume you.

Yet, the mere thought of their absence conjures a hollowness so profound it echoes through every fiber of your being.

This paradox, this agonizing tangle of love and pain, immobilizes your mind.

It renders you helpless, ensnared in a torment of your own making. For in loving them, you have become your own worst enemy, forever trapped in this cycle of anguish and yearning.

Tom

Good spirited playful banter is the answer

The question is, what builds real attraction and chemistry more powerfully than anything including anything sexual?

Nothing tops building attraction more than two people who are so well connected to themselves that they can connect to each other through healthy playful banter.

Being able to banter with someone says a lot about who you are. It’s much deeper than just the banter. It reveals your emotional intelligence, wisdom, if you’re quick thinking, witty, creative, not boring, playful, emotionally attractive, intellectually strong, if you have confidence, maturity, and on and on. The ability to Banter in a playful healthy way cannot be overstated.

Banter is also the best Segway into getting to know you kind of conversation with somebody because now you’re emotionally mutually invested for a much more meaningful get to know you kind of conversation.

If everything is always logical and feels more like an interview the connection is boring. There is no sex appeal to that. Having a good balance of banter and logical getting to know you type conversation is exciting and arousing.

Most people do not have a healthy connection with themselves which has created a toxic unhealthy dating pool with very few exceptions.

So few people realize the importance of playful banter and the balance of that with logical getting to know you type of conversation.

This isn’t true just for romantic connections but also friendships and relationships of all kinds.

What are your thoughts and opinions of this? How important is a well balanced conversation of playful banter and logistical? Have you been with potential dating prospects that are all logistical and you found yourself bored out of your mind but wasn’t sure why?

Tom
www.orgasmicpathways.com

Fish out of Water

Damn I have some vulnerabilities..

I am a fish out of water on and off the dance floor.

I love dancing with a partner but I have to force myself or I’ll never ask anyone to dance.

I put myself in social settings most nights of every week but it’s more comfortable for me to stay home.

“What the fuck was that?” I silently ask myself after dancing with my follows.

Once in a while I feel a rewarding connection with a follow but it’s only temporary. When I ask that same follow for a dance at the next social that connection is no longer there.

In social settings I rarely ever vibe so I just observe and redirect where I do vibe. I will change venues and locales without notice or communication until I vibe or until I would rather go home.

One on one interactions tend to be more meaningful with depth and clarity but those are temporary too.

Why do I perpetually put myself in these circumstances?

I want to grow, learn, expand my understanding, and most of all I genuinely love dancing and being in social settings even through feeling like a fish out of water.

My motivation is curiosity. “Let’s see what happens” is my backstop and my mantra. Do I want to ask this lady to dance? Let’s see what happens. Do I want to go to this social event? Let’s see what happens. I’m perfectly fine leaving anytime I wish and I often do.

Do I feel like I belong on planet earth?

No.

But, let’s see what happens.

Tom
www.orgasmicpathways.com

Growing numbers of people are isolated, unincluded, disoriented, unloved, and unheard.

People are at the end of their ropes in extreme despair and an existence of torture.

Love Is Never enough. People are hardwired to feel included, loved, and heard.

Relationships of all kinds are supposed to be nurtured, not neglected with the well-meaning intention of getting around to it “someday”.

Over busyness and using technological advances to create further isolation are formidable enemies to The Human Condition.

People are the problem and solution.

The homosapian brain is the most advanced brain of any species in the history of planet Earth and an argument can easily be made that we’ve collectively wasted it.

Tom
www.orgasmicpathways.com

Ever since I updated my profile pic, cover pic, and intro section I’m getting these private messages from women telling me how full of myself, narcissistic, and ego-centric I am.

So, I’ve decided I’m keeping these 3 items exactly how they are for the time being <3 Love and appreciation to the women who love and appreciate men with standards.

I feel like the existence of my facebook profile is doing a lot of the heavy lifting for me. That’s what I call good leverage that frees up more time to focus my energy on who and where it matters.

The rampid widespread bad behavior of women in the dating pool is a daily reminder of how important it is to screen and filter before even setting up a date. I’m sure this is true for women also. If you’re a man or a woman you have to have clear standards that does not tolerate the bad behavior. I’ve never been on a date that was not fun because I do a good job at weeding out the bad dates before they have a chance to happen. Thank goodness. So yes, a mad love shout out to women with standards who also love men with standards.

Always be yourself. Let the wrong people weed themselves out and they will <3

Tom
www.orgasmicpathways.com